


What Comes After Us

by argumentativeArtisan



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, F/F, F/M, General homestuck violence, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, This Is STUPID, but entertaining, i shouldn't be writing another fic, oh yeah and uh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22240183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argumentativeArtisan/pseuds/argumentativeArtisan
Summary: This is the story of Eleven fucking idiots and their grouchy rebellion leaderThis is also the story of three freedom fighting celebrities and their super cool dude friendIn other words, the Beforean Ancestors and the Alpha Guardians and how all their shit went down
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor, Gamzee Makara & Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara/Tavros Nitram, Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde (one sided), John Egbert & Vriska Serket, John Egbert/Dave Strider (One Sided), John Egbert/Terezi Pyrope, Nepeta Leijon & Equius Zahhak, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Sollux Captor & Aradia Megido, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Comments: 15
Kudos: 73





	1. Main Characters: Show Yourselves

YOUR NAME is DAVE STRIDER and you are not the protagonist of this story.

And yet, here you are, taking over the narrative, at least for a bit. Because in order for our beloved main character to get to where he is now, quite a few time related shenanigans need to take place. That’s _your_ area of expertise, both time and shenanigans , that is.

Your story starts thirteen miles and four feet outside of Houston, Texas. You were found there by some poor fool who witnessed your extravagant crash in to the ground. You were taken by police, then child services, then eventually found to have a twin up in New York who appeared suspiciously a day before you, though no one bothered to tell you this for a considerable amount of time. 

While _she_ was adopted by a rich, upper crust family by the name of “Lalonde” you were eventually dumped on a dude that was supposedly related to you and very likely to be your brother. His name was Ross and he sucked at raising a kid, he wasn’t abusive, he was just a 20 yr old video game obsessed weeb who felt responsible for his younger brother despite the fact that he was nothing near responsible in any capacity of the word.

You two moved a lot when you were a baby. Eventually, you came to live in the worst fucking apartment ever, but at least it was a place to call home. He was _always_ getting in fights and you became pretty damn good at bandaging wounds, he never had money for health insurance and would likely go into debt over a single hospital visit. If it weren’t for the cheap, kinda shady clinic a block from your apartment, you doubt you’d have had any vaccinations or basic check-ups your entire childhood. He had no idea how to cook, you often got food, and eventually cooking lessons from the elderly Hispanic lady next door. You think that her food was the closest to a home cooked meal you ever had.

When you were thirteen, some real shit went down. You knew Ross was in to something fucked up, that he was gonna get axed one day and it’d be _bloody_. He’d been training you for the past few years “just in case” though you weren’t entirely sure what for. He wasn’t cruel about it, strictly tactical, even went easy on you, but you knew that he wanted to push you, make things harder, he was afraid it wouldn’t be enough. You got good at reading micro expressions, since those were all he ever showed, and you knew he’d die that day just by the slight change on his face.

You went about a normal morning, you woke up, ate toast because that’s all that was in the kitchen, flayed around like an idiot as you forgot that there were swords in the fridge, again, and got dressed. Then, your Bro woke up. He slept on the futon in front of the TV because even though he had a bed, he’d rather be there. He doesn’t say anything, which is pretty normal, for him. He snatches the toast you made him from the counter and ruffles your hair, damn it, Bro. He _knows_ you hate that.

You go to leave, the bus will be by in almost exactly 20 minutes and it’ll take 18 for you to walk there. You start out the door and call back.

“Later, Bro!”

You catch the look on his face, just barely visible below the brim of his dumb hat, it looks strained, grim, probably imperceptible to most, but you can tell, you know.

“Later, lil dude” He says, and you shut the door, having the feeling that you are shutting the door on your entire life as you know it. And boy, are you right.

YOUR NAME is KARKAT VANTAS. You were hatched on a god awful day, 6/26, and you honestly wish Kanaya hadn’t found you.

Kanaya Maryam was only 2 sweeps when she stumbled upon an egg, left alone in the desert she called home, and you don’t know what possessed her to pick you up. You also aren’t sure what possessed her lusus to allow her to keep it. Surely she knew what you were, even before you hatched, virgin or not, she _was_ still a mother grub.

You grew up with Kanaya and her lusus, your friends were hers first and your hive was hers. You shared everything because quite frankly, it was a bad idea to stray too far from your self proclaimed protector.

You met Gamzee when you were just 4 sweeps old. Kanaya had left you alone for the weekend, gone on a trip into a larger city with Terezi and Vriska. You were lonely and walked out to the beach, the sky was beautiful and the area around you was silent. Nothing made the smallest peep, until you heard the crying, it was closer to sobs, the kind you knew had to be someone in distress, and something in you pressed you to look for the source. It was of course, Gamzee. Kanaya had warned you to stay clear of highbloods, and him in particular since he lived so close, but his cries beckoned you nearer, until he ultimately caught wind of your ascent toward him. He is tall and lanky, making even Kanaya look small in comparison. He’s thin though, so thin you wonder if he even eats. The clown makeup you know his caste wears is smeared with tear tracks. He doesn’t move though, just turns his head to the side

“who the motherfuck is that?” Interesting language, Kanaya _hates_ it when you curse too excessively.

“ No one, I mean, I’m just um, wondering if you’re alright?” you ask, you feel like hiding, you should probably hide, he’s huge and you are _so_ not.

“I’m… Not that fine my smaller bro” He says, looking like another wave of tears is about to spill over. You take a deep breathe and go to sit next to him.

“Want to talk about it?” He nods.

“My lusus, he ain’t been home in a real long fuckin time…”

YOU are absolutely empty.

You have cried all the tears you can, seen the carnage for yourself. Whatever ripped through your Bro, it was monstrous. There is a cop beside you, he has thrown a shock blanket over you.

“So, David, that’s you name, correct?”

“Just Dave” You whisper, trying to not close your eyes too long, you keep seeing his bloody face…

“ I know this is hard, and I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t have to, but what can you tell me about today, and what happened?” You let out a shakey breath.

“He seemed different when I left, and then I came home from school, and, that’s all” You don’t tell him about the man in all black standing over your brother’s corpse, or the sword he flung at you. He askes you how you got that cut across your face. You lie and tell him you backed up against the sword in the wall when you realized what happened. He believes you.

It is only two days later that you are shipped off to Albany, New York. Apparently your only living relative is a twin who’s adoptive parents are rich as balls. You fly first class and if you weren’t so subdued from everything that has just occurred, you’d totally be abusing the fuck out of this opportunity.

You suspect that the snotty Lalondes who apparently didn’t even _want_ you originally, wouldn’t take you in for long, you expected to be on a flight back to Houston and in the foster system by the end of the month.

You are greeted at the airport by a girl _way_ shorter than you, with purple eyes and surprisingly well done makeup. But other than that, she looks so alike to you it scares you. Same face shape, same hair and same pale, freckled skin. It’s like looking at a genderbent mirror.

“Hello, you are David Strider then?” God, it she always gonna talk like that?

“Yep, that’s me, except it’s just Dave, thanks”

The Lalonde estate is, well, fuckin huge. You haven’t seen any sign of the mister and missus, you were driven home by a butler or something, Rose tells you he’s her chauffeur but you can’t define or spell that. She introduces you to her cat, Jaspers, which you tell her is a dumb name for a cat and she tells you “Strider” is a dumb last name for a person. You think you are going to be good friends with your sister.

“I’m afraid that I really don’t know much about what you are into, and given the rather short amount of time I had to prepare for your arrival, I went really generic with your bedroom, we can make adjustments to it as you please.” The room is fucking huge. It has a bed that’s like, triple your mattress back home, and the bathroom! It has a tub and big ass shower and the closet’s HUGE too! You are about to exclaim in the first positive expression you’ve had in days but Rose’s face changes your mind. She is looking off to the side and rubbing her arm.

“One last thing, Dave, my foster father past away when I was relatively young. Mother doesn’t like to be disturbed, she is often drunk when she _does_ emerge from her studies, so it will likely be just you and me, for the most part.” Oh, well that would explain having a dude to drive her around and shit. You shrug and tell her that Bro wasn’t very affectionate anyway.

“So what do you want to eat?” You ask, dumping your bag on the ground.

“I don’t really know, I can ask the chef what he’d be willing to cook.” You smile, oh you are going to blow your sis’s mind with your mad culinary skills.

“Not a problem, Lalonde, how to you feel about Mexican?”

YOU are 6 sweeps old and are moving.

You don’t want to, Terezi and Gamzee are here! You’d rather stay here with them! Hell, you’ll even miss Vriska a little bit! But Kanaya is _firm_ on this one. Her lusus is dead, your hive is burned to the ground and you two are left with only a handful of possessions. Someone knows, someone burned your hive and scrawled “Mutant” in the sand in front of it. You have to go, and quickly.

It takes _weeks_ of travel, but you arrive in a city, large and towering hivestems span as far as you can see and you _hate it here._

It’s terrifying for like, 100 different reasons. And Kanaya is making you wear this itchy ass cloak everywhere, to try and shield you from view. You don’t understand people, you don’t thing you ever will.

Three perigees pass in what seems like a blur, Kanaya tells you to stay inside more often than not, your hivestem block is usually far too hot for your tastes and everything outside looks like a grey hellscape. You feel like a squeak-beast in a trap, no where to run and no where to hide. If drones came knocking, you’d be fucking dead. Kanaya tells you that it’s just until she gets enough money to get out of here, but you don’t believe her, she barely makes enough to house and feed you both.

Its one of the rare occasions that you leave the hivestem that you meet them.

In the middle of town, there is almost always some traders setting up shop for the week, and sometimes, there are slavers. Kanaya tells you that it’s only legal to catch children without lusi or an older troll watching them, and outlaws, but it doesn’t make you feel much better. Today, there are a lot of kids, but two in particular catch your eye, one yellowblood psionic who looks like he’s never eaten a full meal, and a tiny little olive who has curled protectively into a circle. Something about them tugs at your mind, pulls at strings you didn’t know were there. You _know_ them, know them in a way that is almost indifferent to knowing yourself or Kanaya. It’s a feeling similar to when you met Gamzee, like you had to do something, regardless of the consequences. You reach up and tug at Kanaya’s shirt, she turns to look at you. She’s hit a growth spurt and towers above you, it’s hard to believe she’s only 2 sweeps older than you.

“Yes, Karkat?” She askes, you frown and point at the cages

“We need to help them, like, right fucking now” She looks sadly for a moment then back down to you.

“Karkat, we can’t, we haven’t even the money to care for ourselves, let alone free slaves…” Your mind is set, you know what you have to do…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't even gonna post this yt but here w are and here I am, a fool

YOU are sitting cross-legged from your sister as she starts the skype call, soon, two faces appear on your shared screen, Jade and John, she tells you, you’ve been putting off meeting her friends for a total of six months and you can’t say that your thrilled that she finally wrestled you into a call with them.

“Jade, John, this is my brother, Dave Strider, Dave, this is Jade Harley and John Egbert, please be nice, I’d hate to oversee an argument between my best friends and my dear twin.” You wave at them and they both greet you enthusiastically.

The conversation flows way better than you thought it would, as it turns out, all four of you are musicians, all four of you have god-awful movie tastes and all four of you are pretty much friendless aside from each other. Jade supposedly lives in the middle of an ocean and you immediately dub it “Hell Murder Island” and she thinks that’s hilarious. John tries to strong arm you all into watching Conair with him and you all viscerally deny him.

The call ends when Rose decrees that John needs to go to bed, because he’s on the west coast and it’s late there. The three of you gang up on him until he agrees to get some sleep. Jade passes out on screen, apparently she just does that, and her dog (that you are thoroughly convinced is a demon) turns off the laptop.

“See, Dave, that wasn’t anywhere near as torturous as you thought, was it?” She smiles snidely at you, god you hate when she’s right, she’s always gotta be an ass about it

“Well, in my defense, when you said friends, I figured they’d be more creepy and articulate like you. Can only manage like one insane teenage girl with an interest in lovecraft and the occult. If You pile that shit up too much, you end up in the first five minutes of a supernatural episode. Is that what you want, Rose? Me to end up pinned to a high school’s announcement board with pentagrams all over me?” She laughs but also corrects you, damn smart ass.

“Pentagrams are only a symbol of the devil when upside down to mimic a goat head. Regular pentagrams are an ancient symbol meaning power and protection, which you’d know if you listened to me”

“Rose, I checked out at the first ‘pentagrams’”

“I know, Dave. Also, go do your homework, you idiot, I know you didn’t finish yesterday.” You groan loudly as you leave her room and do a cool swivel at the door to flip her off.

Your room has gained a lot of character since you moved in. There are posters all over, a damn cool PC gaming setup, a nice ass set of turntables and, miraculously, no cords littering the entire floor. Mostly because Rose came in and tucked them all away, she kept tripping over them. You think she’s a hypocrite though, your cords were messy, but she can’t even put her clothes in the laundry shoot have the time, like dude, you don’t even have to do your laundry, just put it in the damn shoot.

You sit at your desk and try to think of something more entertaining to do instead of your homework. Luckily for you, you don’t have to get very creative, your phone buzzes and you look down to see a new message on pesterchum.

**ectoBiologist (EB)** **began pestering turntechGodhead (TG)**

**EB: psssst**

**EB: Daaavvee**

**TG: whats up man aren’t you supposed to be sleeping**

**EB; yeah but rose isn’t my mom so I’m not listening!**

**TG: hell yeah teenage rebellion**

**EB: yeah!**

**EB: also I just kinda wanted to talk to you**

**TG: why dude**

**TG: not that I’m not like. Hells a cool. Like coolness levels so far off the charts that the doctors diagnosed me with fuckin hypothermia.**

**TG: better tone that shit down son. Your gonna freeze to death**

**EB: pfft**

**EB: rose was right, you’re hilarious!**

**TG: she only thinks I’m funny when im _not_ being cool**

**TG: it brings her joy each time I trip or pronounce something incorrectly**

**EB: haha!**

**EB: she said you used to pronounce ‘stoic’ as ‘stoink’!**

**TG: why does she do this to me**

**TG: is she a sadist you’ve known her longer than me**

**EB: lol she just likes being weird and ‘alternative’ I think**

**EB: that’s kinda why I wanted to talk to you though**

**EB: as we already said, me, jade and rose really don’t have other friends aside from each other**

**EB: so it’s kinda really cool to have dude friend!**

**EB: not that the girls aren’t great!**

**TG: nah I get what you mean.**

**TG: I spend 90% of my time alone with literally no one to chat up except rose**

**TG: who may be a great conversationalist**

**TG: but not for like. Regular human beings**

**EB: totally!**

**EB: jades like that too!**

**EB: she’s super nice and friendly but half of what she says makes no fucking sense!**

**EB: and she passes out like constantly**

**TG: yeah what’s up with that actually**

**EB: no clue, she’s never been off her island or seen a doctor**

**TG: holy shit how do her parents get away with that**

**EB: oh**

**TG: oh what Egbert what did I say**

**EB: guess rose didn’t fill you in, jade’s an orphan**

**TG: shit**

**EB: yeah that’s why she’s still on the island**

**EB: she ran away from her crazy ass mom when she was really little**

**EB: she got to the island and never left.**

**EB: her mom is probably dead**

**EB: we think**

**TG: every second you continue to type I get more and more confused.**

**EB: yeah that’s how I felt too**

You talk to John a lot after that. You think he might just be one of the greatest dudes you’ve ever met. Not that you’ve told him that, can’t go mushy on your new bro so fast. Shit is mega uncool. As for what takes up the rest of your day? Well, between your sister and tutors badgering you too actually study and your occasional trips to town, you’re pretty content. Life’s pretty good.

YOUR NAME is KARKAT and you can fucking _BELIEVE_ what just happened.

You were adamant about saving those two captured kids, so naturally, you came up with a fucking balls off the walls plan to free them. And by some ass backward logic, the horror terrors let you have this one.

The plan was dumb, but simple, you cut your wrist and left your blood on the ground at one side of the town square, You wrapped up your wound, managed to push close to the cages and told one of the prisoners.

“get everyone ready to run” He nodded his head and started a chain of whispers around the slaves. Eventually, he gave you the go ahead, you caught Kanaya’s attention and she started yelling about mutant blood tracks. The crowd dispersed, eager to see the spectacle Kanaya managed to put on. You unlocked each cage and the slaves slipped out. The gold blood and the little olive were the only ones left.

“ I can’t carry her and she can’t walk” The gold told you through a thick lisp. You grabbed the olive girl, she was nearly your size and it was awkward, but the three of you made it off and out of the city with the other slaves.

Kanaya met you at dawn.

You were hunkered down in a cave just out side of the city, she had hidden under a cart when the crowd became aware of what happened, but as the light of day drew closer, the people became too afraid to stay out much longer. 

“are you alright?” She knelt beside you and took a look at the thin cut you had made. She decided it was fine and moved on to the others two.

“What do you know about them? “she asked, they had both fallen asleep as soon as their bodies hit the ground.

“Sollux is the gold, Nepeta is the olive” You say, you think for a moment on whether they’d want to tell their story or if you should, but judging by how sad and tired they looked when they explained their journey the first time, you decide to spare them telling it again.

“They live in the costal mountains, both of them have moirails but it was Nepeta’s turn to forage and Sollux went with her because she has no sense of direction. They got caught at the base of the mountain where they apparently weren’t supposed to be” Kanaya looks over at them with the same almost-pity that she sometimes gives you. It’s not like the romantic pity you’ve read about, it’s the soft kind of caring that you often see lusi give their weak or injured young. She brushes Nepeta’s hair away from her head as if to check her temperature and frowns.

“She’s got a fever…”

“Probably got sick while traveling, can you do something about it?” Kanaya nods and looks out to the sunny sky.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had a nice walk during the day, but Karkat, what are we going to do?”

“Take them home?”

“And then what?” You don’t know how to answer that.., You were hoping that the mountain they talked about had room for two strays, but you aren’t sure how Kanaya will react to that. Sollux was _adamant_ that the only reason they got caught was due to them being lower on the mountain. You know you shouldn’t get your hopes up, but you really hope that it’s safe there.

You are one the road again by the end of the week.

Nepeta’s fever is all but gone, she’s very chatty now, constantly trying to argue about ships and general romance with you. You enjoy it quite a bit. Sollux is cranky more often then not. Nepeta says that Aradia usually helps him with his migraines, but without her he’s “a total sourpuss!”. You don’t know Aradia, but she must be absolute godsend to get Sollux to shut the fuck up for five minutes.

The walk to their mountain long, and only during the day. Which means that you, Sollux and Nepeta are swathed in heat resistant cloth head to toe. It keeps you three from burning alive, but it’s neither fun nor comfortable. As for Kanaya, she’s having the time of her life. Every city you stop in only has one kind of inhabitant awake: other jades. Each one of them greets her rather amicably and though initially thrown off guard by her three fall-behinds, are just as kind to you as well. Stocking up on supplies is easier when you’re only trading with a generally good-natured caste, the herbs and various wild vegetables Kanaya picks on the way are more than enough to trade for clothes, food and water. You don’t know how she does it, the jades all talk in such pretty but sharp-edged sentences that you can never follow along for more than a few seconds before getting bored.

Eventually you reach the base of the mountain.

“We have to be careful here. Slavers hide down here to catch anyone going by” Sollux says. According to him and nepeta, the mountain is very hostile to outsiders, and traversing it without either a guide or the know-how can and will lead to death. You are glad you aren’t one of the idiots that tried going up on their own. Nepeta tells you that she’s found dozens of bodies littering the lower half.

Sollux use his psionics to float as the rest of you walk. You asked him why he doesn’t just fly you all up there, or hell, why he couldn’t escape, but Nepeta cuts in before he has the chance to respond.

“Paw-llux can’t use them much on his own. He’s bad at moving too much or too fast with them. Unless Ara helps him, she’s psionic too, and has waaay more control. She usually flies us up and over the bottom of the mountain” Sollux grumbles something that sounds like agreement and adds on.

“My powers are more volatile, gold psionics are partially electric, AA’s aren’t so she doesn’t have to worry about frying her pan or her friends” Huh. You had assumed all psionics work the same, but now that you think about it, Sollux has had an air of static around him pretty much constantly, he even gave you a minor shock while sleeping. It actually hurt enough to scare, you are suddenly very glad he keeps such a handle on it.

Nepeta prattles on about all of their friends on the mountain. Apparently her moirail is a blueblood who lives the closest to the bottom out of all of them. No one messes with him both because of his blood and because the dude is fucking ripped. You have a hard time believing that a big, buff blue blood that likes fighting robots he built also enjoys having tea parties with his tiny moirail. But then again, you saw Nepeta catch a full ass wild tusk-beast and each her share raw so you suppose anything’s possible.

Aradia, Tavros and Sollux live at the mountain’s peak. Aradia moved Sollux up there after his lusus destroyed their communal hivestem block. Aradia’s lusus is a woolbeast and Tavros’ has wings so both of them have always lived at the top. Nepeta has always know them, and didn’t meet Equius until he got caught in one of her traps. “he’s such a big klutz!” she tells you and you wonder how this dude can be so conflicting literally all the time. 

The walk takes three days and as you get closer to the mid section of the mountain, you see more of Sollux and Nepeta’s personalities. As if coming home had revitalized them, Sollux tones down the snark to an almost manageable level and nepeta is quite literally bouncing around the forest floor.

You meet Equius first. Nepeta tackles him the second she lays eyes on his lumbering form, he goes down instantly and when he realizes _who_ just launched themselves at him and immediately bursts into tears. He scolds her and Sollux harshly for traveling so low without back up and all but pledges his life to you and Kanaya for bringing them back. The dude is over dramatic for sure, he’s way taller than Sollux, and about at Kanaya’s height but with a fuckload of muscles. Honestly, if you hadn’t witnessed him bawl his eyes out ten minutes earlier, you’d be scared of him. You are about to leave Nepeta with him to go with Sollux back home, But Equius stops you.

“It’s too close to first light. I cannot let you all go up to the peak in such conditions. Aradia and Tavros will be down tomorrow for their new water purifier, they can reunite with him then.” Although you don’t like his tone, you know he’s right. The cloaks you’ve been using to stave off the heat only work at lower altitudes, the higher up you go, the less likely they are to keep you safe.

“Oh _fuck_ , I was supposed to change the computer chip!” Sollux slams his head into the nearest wall and Equius rolls his eyes.

“While you are definitively better with computers than I, I am quite capable of just building a new purifier, it stopped functioning soon after you left and they have been receiving water from me while I worked on the new one” Sollux lets out a sigh of relief, he tells you that there are dangerous chemicals in the water up here, which is part of why those who don’t know better, drink it straight from the source, and end up dead.

“as for you two, what will you do once Sollux has been returned home?” You and Kanaya exchange a glance.

“Don’t tell me you two fucked yourselves over by saving us…” Sollux groans when you don’t reply.

“We used to live not to far from here, but we cannot return, it’s not safe, as for the city… Well, they are looking for a young jade and her mutant conspirer so I doubt going back there will do us any good.”

“then that settles it, you two will have to stay on the mountain” Initially, you and Kanaya oppose this, but Equius, nepeta and surprisingly, Sollux, badger her with all the potential problems associated with leaving the mountain are. Such as, you all may have been followed here, they likely will wait at the bottom instead of climbing the mountain. You have no where else to go, the mountain is more than capable of providing for two more people and lastly, you, Karkat, will be safe. No drones, no highbloods (present company excluded), no slavers. It was inarguable, you are stuck up here for the foreseeable future. 

The next night arrives in a flash. It feels like you barely slept (because you _did_ barely sleep) and you are impromptly awoken by cries of joy that can only be from Aradia and Tavros.

When their reunion wraps up, they introduce themselves. Aradia Megido, Sollux’s moirail, is an average height, smiley rust blood with a creepy aura, you don’t know if it’s her off putting presence or her happy demeanor that allows her to handle Sollux, but now that she’s arrived, the cranky bastard is sufficiently handled.

Tavros, on the other hand, is barely taller than you. He has wide charge-beast shaped horns and barely fit through the door way, he seems pretty nice, but he has a hard time communicating through a bad stutter. You think you and/or Kanaya make him nervous because Nepeta makes note of how the stutter is flaring up worse today. When Aradia and Tavros are let in on you two’s plan to stay, they get way too excited about having new neighbors. Aradia immediately offers to help you two get a hive, you know she’s psionic, but no one can just poof shit out of thin air.

“Oh it’s actually rather simple! I’ll just lift up an abandoned hive from below and bring it back up here!” is her answer, you wonder how fucking powerful this chick is…

You spend a week at Equius and Nepeta’s hive. You help Nepeta hunt and keep far (far) from the bottom of the mountain. Aradia scouts out three decently close hives that are empty of any inhabitant, only one has blood on the walls so as for what happened to the other two, you don’t know. Kanaya is flown to each of them with Aradia’s bulshit powerful mind shit and she settles on the larger of the three, the one with blood in it because fuck you.

It takes all hands on deck to get the hive in working order after Aradia flies it over, she wasn’t kidding about just ripping the damn thing out of the ground. Sollux and Aradia move fuckloads of dirt so Equius can laydown piping, all of them still insist that payment isn’t necessary, you two _did_ save Nepeta and Sollux, so not letting you freeze to death outside is just a courtesy. Kanaya once again proves to be a badass fucker by carrying almost as many logs as Equius instead of getting one of the flying assholes to do it.

By the end of the week, you have something resembling a hive again, it’s still a mess, unpainted and with barely any furniture or appliances, but it’s a good start, you think that you will like it here.


	3. Chapter 3

YOUR NAME is ROSE LALONDE and it’s time someone else got a turn to narrate!

You live with your ALCOHOLIC MOTHER who is almost always intoxicated and your STRANGE BUT LOVABLE BROTHER who is currently fitting your cat into a tuxedo. It’s your birthday, his is tomorrow but since when were either of you good at waiting, a joint party is a necessity.

Although, it is awfully hard to have a party without any friends, and you two really only have each other, a hermit and a kid that lives across the damn country. Luckily, money can solve _some_ problems rather easily.

You brother is startled into dropping Jaspers who scratches him and makes a run for it as the door swings open. John Egbert and Jade Harley bust in with arms full of presents and fucking kazoos. You told them not to bring kazoos.

“Holy _SHIT. Rose??_ “You smile ear to ear, getting a plane to Jade and convincing John’s dad to let him go was not an easy endeavor, but telling people that you and Dave have never had a proper birthday party was enough to melt the sappy adults’ hearts.

Jade and John drop the gifts and their bags to tackle the both of you. You are soon enveloped in a mess of teen limbs and giggles. It’s quiet possibly one of the best sounds you have ever heard.

Your 16th birthday is far better than you could have ever imagined. Dave and you take them to all your favorite spots, John finally (finally) gets all of you to watch Conair, in your home theater, you have to watch Conair on a big screen. Jade eventually reveals that her birthday was right before yours and suddenly the celebration is just you three pointing at John and calling him a small child for being a few months younger. You spend nearly two weeks with your closest friends before John has to return home, Jade stays until after Christmas and is ever so enamored by the thick blanket of snow that coats the outside. It’s actually really cute, you may be having a slight crisis over your sexuality now that you’re seeing her in person but Dave has very obvious been experiencing the same problem so at least it’s a family crisis.

It’s January of the next year, Jade and John have both returned to their homes, though you offer Jade a place with you, she insisted on returning to her island. You are sat in the smaller of the two living rooms in the manor, it’s cozier here. Dave is at your feet, being a prick and criticizing your movie tastes. You do not have to explain yourself to someone who unironically watches Sesame Street at age 16. 

“Rose, what if one of us as gay?” That came out of left field. Nice smooth intro to the, subject.

“Then we’d still be twins and we’d still be there for the other, right?” He lets out a noncommittal noise and you pinch him.

“ _right?”_

“Right, ow-fuck, Rose!” You release him and he rubs at his arm.

“So, are you straight?” He asked, you know exactly what game is playing, you are so not going to out yourself just so he can say you did first. 

“I don’t know” You answer, and well, it’s not entirely untrue, you suspect that you are attracted to women only, but other than the many instances when Jade was here and you sort of really would have liked to hug or kiss her, you don’t have much to reference. It’s always been you and Dave. Hell, maybe Dave is what will scare you away from men, now that you think about it.

“And you?”

Dave shrugs and gives yet another noncommittal answer to you. He is a dirty liar, he definitely has a thing for John.

Unfortunately for the both of you, not only do your crushes live far away, but they are also most likely heterosexual. On the bright side, you read that crushes tend to not last long so hopefully it’ll fade with time.

“Hey Rose?”

“Yes, brother dear?” He scrunches up his nose at you.

“You kinda ruined the big bomb drop I was planning but I guess this extremely distressed atmosphere will have to do”

“Do you have a point or do you intend to just complain about my language?”

“I do, actually, fuck off, do you want to make a movie?” It seems your twin is just brimming with wild ideas today

YOU are seated outside your hive when they arrive, you pretend to have been reading instead of eagerly awaiting their arrival, but it doesn’t really work.

Aradia was so kind as to fly Terezi and Vriska up so that they could see you and Kanaya, because they sort of though you two were dead. When the letters from Kanaya stopped coming, they assumed the worst, and no amount of convincing Aradia tried to do worked, so she just kinda flew them up to you. Terezi is licking you the second she reaches the porch and Vriska is already mouthing off the exterior paint job on your hive, you tell her to roll the fuck back down the mountain and preferably into one of Nepeta’s many lethal traps.

“Karkles! Is that anyway to greet your friends after we mourned your death?”

“Terezi- fuck stop slobbering on me- I am _damn_ sure that if someone was mourning, it was just you, not the diseased frame of a troll you call a moirail” She cackles and holy shit, you’re glad she can’t see your grin, you missed this crazy bitch. Aradia and Tavros are incredibly calm about the whole thing, even when Terezi inevitably licks them to “G3T A GOOD T4ST4” of them. Sollux catches sight of Terezi’s antics and proceeds to float his ass up on top of the hive, she climbs it and licks him anyway.

Nepeta and Equius arrive for dinner, they haul in the meat, because honestly you don’t think anyone can cook meat as well as Equius and Nepeta’s kills are always cleaner than you and Tavros’. Nepeta and Terezi hit it off immediately and are engaged in the most confusing roleplay ever over dinner. Vriska, on the other hand, has zoomed in on the arguably weakest of you and is picking him a part, lucking Aradia is there to support Tavros in telling her to fuck off.

When they leave the next day, they promise to return and although you think that it’s a terrible idea for them to climb up there themselves, you also suspect that they are some of the very few who can make it up the mountain without a scratch.

Sollux unveils some new devices as soon as Aradia leaves with them.

“I’m tired of communicating like fucking peasants just cause we live in the middle of fuck all nowhere. I scavenged some good shit guys” He goes on to complain for nearly an hour about how dumbass highbloods just toss out their old palmhusks and husktops when new ones are released; and that he is literally never above dumpster diving for new shit. Even at the risk of catching fire if he sits in there too long. He gives you all one of each and honestly, you are baffled, Sollux’s super brain is the gift that keeps giving.

The first thing you do is add Terezi and, reluctantly, Vriska, on Trollian. You have their tags memorized, even if you’ve never had a way of _using_ Trollian until now. Kanaya picks the name grimAuxillatrix and it sounds just obnoxious enough to fit her. You decide on carcinoGenetisist. Reasoning? Who the fuck knows, it just sounded cool. Soon, you’ve got a list of names, mostly offline, in your troll call, but there is _one_ person online for you to bother.

carcinoGenetisist (CG) began Trolling gallowsCollaborator (GC)   
CG: TEREZI? DID YOU AND VRISKA’S DUMBASSES MAKE IT BECK TO YOUR HIVES ALRIGHT?   
GC: S1NC3 WH3N D1D YOU G3T 4 PALMHUSK K4RKL4S????   
CG: SINCE SOLLUX DECIDED TO GO DUMPSTER DIVING IN THE HIGHBLOOD NEIGHBORHOOD WEST OF HERE.   
GC: *WINK WINK*   
CG: NO   
CG: STOP THAT   
GC: SO MR 4PPL3B3RRY BL4ST H4S G1FTED YOU W1TH 4N 3XP3NS1V3 IT3M, H4S H3???   
CG: STOP THAT RAILWAY VEHICLE OF THOUGHT RIGHT THIS SECOND   
CG: HE GAVE ALL OF US TECH, NOT JUST ME YOU DEGENERATE   
GC: 4WWWWW YOUR3 NO FUN!   
CG: WHO IS AND IS NOT IN MY QUADRANTS IS NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS   
GC: WHO S41D 4NYTH1NG 4BOUT QU4DR4NTS???   
CG: YOU DID!   
GC: DID NOT >;]   
CG: IT WAS IMPLIED YOU SACK OF SHIT AND VISCERA   
GC: LOL WH4T 3V3R YOU S4Y ;]   
GC: W3LP. 4S MUCH 4S 1 LOV3 TO PISS YOU OFF. I 4CTU4LLY SL33P ON OC4SS1ON.   
CG: FINE. GO TO SLEEP THEN.   
GC: BUT B3FOR3 1 D1P OUT. YOUR 1D1OT CLOWN H4S B33N M14 FOR L1KE. 4 P3RIG33.   
CG: WHAT!!! WHY THE *FUCK* DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT WHEN YOU WERE HERE???   
GC: H3 W3NT LOOK1NG FOR H1S CR4PPY LUSUS 4ND TOLD US TO NOT DO 4NYTH1NG UNT1L AT L3AST 4 P3RIG33 H4D P4ST.   
GC: W4S GONN4 T3LL YOU VI4 L3TT3R 4FT3R W3 CH3CK3D H1S H1V3 4G4IN   
CG: *FUCK* ME AND ALL THE HORROR TERRORS. WHAT’S HIS HANDLE   
GC: IT’S terminallyCapricious (TC)   
CG: I DIDN’T THINK HE COULD SPELL WORDS OVER THE 6 REQUIRED FOR HIS FUCKING NAME   
GC: 1 W4S UND3R TH3 4SSUMT1ON YOU WROT3 IT FOR H1M UNT1L NOW   
CG: WHATEVER. I’VE GOT A JUGGALO TO FIND. LET ME KNOW ASAP IF HE SHOWS HIS UGLY MUG AROUND AGAIN.   
carcinoGenetisist (CG) ceased Trolling gallowsCollaborator (GC)

You sit back into a slump at your desk. It’s getting light out and you should really sleep soon. So should Kanaya, even though you are well aware she probably won’t go in until high noon.

You stick your head outside of the front door, grateful for the shade from the hive, it’s probably the only reason you aren’t getting burnt right now.

“ KANAYA! IT’S SEVEN AM SO I AM GOING TO TRY AND SLEEP LIKE A NOTMAL PERSON! YOU BETTER NOT BE AWAKE WHEN I INEVITABLY FAIL ANF COME LOOKING FOR YOU!” Your voice echoes across the mountain top and you hear and irritated shout from the north, it’s Sollux telling you to shut the fuck up, no doubt. Kanaya’s head peeks out from behind the bush she is currently trimming.

“Oh? It it that late already? I’ll be in soon, just let me finish this one…” soon, she says, well you are very aware the ‘soon’ in Maryam terms is ‘right before you wake up so I can pretend to have been sleeping this entire time’. But since you can’t really go after her without the overly hot sun cloak you despise, you just yell a noncommittal “you fucking better” and go back to your room.

That day, when you sleep, you have a fitful dream, one of many to come. You see yourself, fighting for your life, watching people die, some you recognize, some you have yet to meet, and some, completely alien to you, what all of this means, only time can tell.


	4. JOHN====> ENTER NARRITIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter to talk about my main dood john and how he really is oblivious, it's just that dave is incredibly obvious

YOUR NAME is JOHN EGBERT and you are EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. You want to be a comedian, but for now, you’re an actor, the star, actually, of your best bro’s second film and first comedy.

You honestly don’t know why he even bothered hiring you, Dave and Rose’s debut film was hit. It was low budget, had a crappy set and awful costumes, but the intensity of it’s murder-mystery plot and excellent score made the other shitty parts disappear. You knew the two of them were brilliant, but you didn’t think anyone could pull off something that great with so little.

Needless to say, it was strange that after all the cash they’d raked in from their first project, that they’d hire a mediocre comedian who couldn’t sell out a show in a small town, even if they were childhood friends. But you were grateful! You just also feel like it was a little bit because you needed the money, since your dad was diagnosed with cancer last year and your savings are running low. You already told them that you didn’t want them just paying off his bills. He got himself into this mess with his smoking, and he’s your dad, so it’s your problem. You’re gonna confront him about it today. Dave that is, not your dad, he’s still in Washington and you’re filming in Vegas right now.

You head up to Dave’s trailer, it says “don’t bother unless you have pizza” on the front but you know that label only applies to people who didn’t literally spend most of their teenage years chatting with him.

“Dave, I’m coming in you better have pants on” You hear a quiet “oh fuck” from inside and loud clambering noises as he scrambles to find his pants. Why he can’t chill in sweatpants instead of underwear you’ll never know, and you wish you didn’t know he wears some tight-ass undies. It’s not a situation you want to repeat. Hence why you give him warning now. Dave’s trailer door swings open and his glasses are falling off og his face, great look, dude. 

He lets you in and you sit on the table, you know he hates when you sit on the table.

“Man, why do you always gotta put you ass on my fucking table? Where the hell has that ass been? I don’t know? Can’t you just plant it on the booth like a normal person?” You snort and slide off of it and on to said booth. He crosses his arms.

“Now that you are no longer deflowering my table like an asshole, what do you need?” You scrunch your nose up.

“Not a good enough reason to use the word ‘deflowering’ Dave. And I’ve got something I want to talk to you about…” He looks a little more nervous now, like you’re gonna break up your broship or something. Dave’s gotten better at properly emoting as of late and honestly, thank god. It’s not a big improvement, but enough for you to read him for once. 

“Shit man, I was actually gonna say the same thing. Guess great minds think alike, or, well, best bros think that breaks in filming are a good time for serious discussions and all that” Sometimes you think he makes up stupid ways to say things just to fuck you up.

“You go first, mine’s not all that… serious?” You should not of phrased that like a question, his eyebrows go up in curiosity and damnit Dave, put those fuckers back down.

“Ooooh Kayyyy” He sits across from you and fucks up his hair, Rose is gonna be pissed about that, she hates it when he looks messy on set.

“So- hu. Fuck. You know Rose is gay right?” You look at him, deadpan. No, you did not know one of your best friends who you now see daily and have actually given relationship advice to before, was a lesbian. This is revolutionary, thanks Dave.

“Right uh, so. I was thinkin. And I mean. Twins, right? A lot of really weird similarities, totally fucks you up some time and-“ You cut him off. He’ll keep going all night at this rate

“Dave, yes or no question, are you gay and did you have a crush on me? “His face heats up. God, why does everyone think you’re an idiot? Dave’s never been great at hiding romantic feelings toward you. You thought he was _trying_ to be obvious for a while, but last year, when you were 17 and finally dating for the first time, he still hadn’t gotten the balls to tell you so you figured he jus. Didn’t want to. Which was fine, you weren’t going to push him, but this was just kinda hard to watch.

“Y-yes. Sorry? I know that’s like, really weird and maybe super uncomfortable for you? I mean, Jade was fine with Rose crushing on her but, Like, Jade’s pan and I’m pretty sure you’re straight? Is that assuming? Am I being a humongous dick right now? God this is awful, you can just forget it or something, I mean, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s just that the girls were tag teaming on my ass because I hadn’t come out to you and Rose was like “Dave he’s your best friend and it’s honestly weird you told Jade before him’ but that as an accident so I really don’t think that-“ _HOLYFUCKINGSHIT_. You lauch across the table and clap a hand over his mouth.

“Dave, it’s _fine_. I’ve known forever and you don’t owe me or anyone else knowledge of your sexuality. It. Is. Fine.” He sighs and relaxes a bit, you let go and sit back down.

“Actually, I feel really good about that. Like 6 years worth of boulders are off of my chest. Thanks for being cool, John.” Oh so we’re using first names now. The more Dave says your name and not “best bro” or my dude, generally the more sincere he is. He looks at you expectantly, oh, right, your thing.

“Why did you guys hire me as the lead?” he looks a little take a back, as if he didn’t understand why you’d even ask.

“Uh, because we like you and wanted to work with you?”

“Dave, cut the crap, was it because my dad’s sick or not?” He looks guilty, and, and you want to be angry, but he looks so goddamn much like a scared kid in trouble it’s hard to keep that anger up.

‘It- it wasn’t like that, John. You’re talented in your own right and we wanted to get you into the industry. No one was taking us up on our recommendations of you, and you needed the money! So yeah, maybe you weren’t the perfect cast for our lead but honestly! It’s been way better with you here. You help get Rose of my ass and you make the rest of the cast laugh and hell, John, you’re doing a lot better in this role than anyone coulda expected-“

“ _you still hired me even though you thought I’d suck??”_ He looks alarmed now and you try to keep calm. Dave reacts poorly to shouting and you don’t want to hurt him.

“No-no! Dude, you’re a great actor! I just didn’t know how well your theater roles would transfer to film! That’s literally it! Well- and Rose thought you’d ad-lib her script , which you do, but I think it sounds more natural this way so it’s not a bad thing! Man, I really didn’t want to offend you or anything, but here I go again. ‘there’s old-man strider, eating his foot again in conversation with his old friend’ I mean, damn, how to I even do that, 70 yrs old and still managing to stick an entire foot in my mouth. Ok, I’ll shut up”

He sits, deflated and you wonder what kind of face you must have pulled to get him to shut down like that.

“You know what? You’re right. And I think I let my pride get that better of me… Switching from live theater to film wasn’t _as_ bad as people said it’d be, but I understand the concern…” He smiles weakly at you, god, you’re best friend is such a dork. Though in all fairness, so are you. You take you leave when Rose texts you and tells you to meet her at the costume department. you slip out the trailer door and pop you're head back in for a second. You guess now is as good of a time as ever. 

" Oh, and, Dave, I'm not straight,I'm bisexual!" His shades slide comically off his face and you just laugh and close the door.


	5. Everyone: Have Several Weird Experiences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat makes a new friend and Dave becomes a dad. that's it. that's all the context you get

YOU find yourself at a loss for what to do. It’s been nearly another two perigees and you haven’t seen nor heard from Gamzee. You’re panicking, not sleeping as much, definitely not eating as much, and Kanaya had taken notice. She suggested that Aradia take you by his hive to check and see if he left you any kind of message. You think that the thought of Gamzee having enough clarity to actually _write coherently_ is terrifying in it’s own right, but you go, mostly because Aradia just picked you up and carried you without you making a solid decision.

Gamzee’s hive is just as shitty as you remember it, all that space, all that money, and he lived in a fucking garbage pile. Aradia tells you she’ll be just a little bit away at Vriska and Terezi’s, you don’t blame her for wanting to get out of this trash pit. But also she probably just wants to irritate Vriska with Terezi right there to be their auspistice. You have no idea at all what makes Aradia think that baiting Vriska into a black rom relationship is a solid plan but like hell are you gonna trying and fucking stop them, they both have moirails for that.

You search every blatantly obvious and semi conspicuous place where Gamzee’s dumbass may have left a note, but, unsurprisingly, you find nothing. Until you hear something out on the dock.

It’s crying.

You move as fast as you can out of the house and scramble back down to the beach, there’s only one purple motherfucker that cries at the beach in the middle of broad nightlight.

Well, you _thought_ there was only one. But unless Gamzee got shorter and started wearing a douchey cape for some fucking reason, then this was some other asshole. You make to turn back to the house and step on a stick. God fucking _damnit_.

“Gam? Is that you?” oh fucking perfect, he knows Gamzee too.

The purple-no, _fucking violet_ blood figures out it itsn’t a tall, high-as-balls clown and pulls out a rifle. He points it at your general direction.

“Move closer so I can see ya’,” you, tentatively, obey

“Oh, it’s just a fuckin rust, scram, I ain’t looking to add a tally on my kill sheet- wait, do you know Gam- fuck , uh, Gamzee Makara?” You are incredibly tempted to spit back something rude, but you don’t. Instead, you just tell the truth like a fuckin pussy.

“He’s my best friend, and I’m looking for him-“

“No way… _you’re_ the infamous ‘Karbro’?” You cringe, goddamnit, Gamzee.

“Not my fucking name but, yeah, that’s what he calls me, it’s just Karkat, by the way” The seadweller puts down his rifle.

“You don’t happen to know where that asshole got off to, do ya’? You shake your head and tentatively move closer.

“I moved a while back, Terezi and Vriska have been keeping an eye on him and he dropped off their radar like three perigees ago,” The violet swears under his breath.

“He sent me a message but I didn’t get it until a little bit ago, was off on a mission an didn’t get any fuckin service- wait, you know Ter and Vris too? How is it I’ve never met you before now, and hold up, what’s a rust doin out here, this is mostly a midblood area, ‘cept for gam a course…” You roll your eyes, there are _several_ lowbloods in this neighborhood, they just aren’t all that sociable, and a little terrified of a _certain_ cerulean.

“I live with a Jadeblood, and there _are_ other lowbloods out here, they’re mostly just scared of Vriska and don’t get out much” He laughs and agrees that avoiding Vriska is a good plan for anyone.

“Anyway, the message, so he was tellin me how he was goin bonkers bein a lone out here an how is ‘Karbro’ was probably dead an he was leavin…” You start hyperventilating. Immediately.

It’s your fault It’s your fault it’s **_your fault. He might die and it’s your fault-_** The seadweller grabs your shoulders.

“Are you alright? Should I call Ter or something? What’s- Oh. It ain’t your fault I’m sure- he’s always like this you know-“ You move out of his reach and sit down, head in your hands.

“It’s _my_ job to watch him- goddamnit- I TOLD Kanaya we should have taken him with us- _fucking_ I should have visited or came back for him, god what if he’s fucking _dead?”_ The violet sits next to you and pulls his legs up.

“If you’re too blame, so am I, I had that message for wipes, I coulda gone back to shore to check my messages but I was pissy at my Moirail an ignoring her. I coulda helped too…” He looks up at you and it might be the first fucking time you’ve ever seen someone look as guilty as you feel.

“Shit. I don’t even know your name, dude,” he gives you a wobbly smile,

“Eridan Ampora, I’d say ‘and you’ but you were normal enough a troll to introduce yourself earlier”

You did not know that befriending a(nother) highblood that you would be stuck listening to his pale drama.

“an she’s always tellin me that I’m too complaintive and nit picky but THEN she expects ME to listen to her doin the same shit! I’m tellin ya, Kar, she’s driving me mad!”

“Then break up with her” You say, not even looking up from your palmhusk. Eridan sputters and starts to list off the long list of reasons he _doesn’t_ want to break up with his moirail, even though they are very clearly toxic for each other. You’ve known him for all of two (two!) perigee, and he has managed to make some idiotic excuse to get you to visit him at the beach near Gamzee’s nearly every wipe since. You’ve given him the same goddamned answer every time he asks, but today, you’re fed up. You cut off his word vomit.

“Eridan, I cannot _stress_ this _enough_ , but you and her are not good matches. You’re introverted, a totally history buff and above all else, _dramatic as fuck_. She, from what you’ve told me, is largely extroverted, excitable and her hobbies include cuddling stuffed animals, planning large scale social reform that will never happen and an incredible knack for useless crafts. What, in your goddamned, rotted out pan made you think you two would make good moirails? Yeah, moirails should oppose each other, in _constructive_ ways, that’s the whole fucking point! Like Nepeta and Equius, they’re like the textbook definition of good morailigence! Nepeta hates being bossed around or bossing others, she’s a hunter and loves art, Equius is a buff ass highblood with a disturbingly clear domination kink, but he also loves to make things, he’s an engineer. So _despite_ their many, many differences, neither one has a foot up on the other and they have a plethora of activities that they both enjoy. That and they know what the word “communication” means, you two wouldn’t know what that was until someone beat you over the pan with it!” Uh oh, the waterworks, here they come.

You, again, have not known Eridan long, but yelling at him always ends up with him bitching back or crying his ganderbulbs out. Which, by the expression e’s pulling, is what’s about to fucking happen. But he surprises you. He sniffs and dabs at his face for a moment and doesn’t actually cry.

“You’re right Kar. We probably ain’t good for eachother…” He pulls his knees up to his chest and once again, he reminds you of yourself. You hate how much you two mirror each other. You hate even more that his sadness just says that it doesn’t matter your blood color, even the rich assholes aren’t happy.

“But… She’s all I got. And I’m all she’s got. She don’t talk to no one else, an I don’t really have other friends, hell you and Gam are the only people who have talked to me besides her in like a sweep.” You suck in a breathe, you know you’re gonna regret this, you can just _feel_ it, but you want to help him, and her, who ever the hell she is.

“Look, I get it, you two sound like you’ve grown up pretty goddamned secluded from other people, but just because you’ve known each other forever doesn’t mean you’ll make good moirails. And it also doesn’t mean you have to pretend like you aren’t still close, or like you don’t still care about the other.” You pause to gather your thoughts. Despite your culture’s demand that all close relationships fit in all four quadrants and despite how much you like talking about said relationships, you can’t help but feel like that’s wrong. You and Kanaya are definitely not pale, but, you definitely care about each other, hell, you care about everyone else up on hell mountain too, and you certainly aren’t the village pale slut Sollux likes to call you.

“Eridan, why did you ask me to show up tonight?” He seems surprised by the question and his fins flick downward. You know he does some sort of work during the wipe and almost never calls you unless it’s his off night, of which it isn’t tonight.

“I-She… She broke up with me. For good, I think. She’s cut me off before but, she seemed real certain this time” That’s hat you expected. Whatever Eridan’s job is (he refuses to tell you) it’s important enough that nothing short of a personal crisis gets him to avoid doing it.

“I dunno what I’m even fuckin doin here, Kar. I ain’t skipped a night since Vris crashed my airship an I got a nasty panache, couldn’t see or shoot straight for like two nights.” You, you pat his back, careful to not imply it’s something pale, you don’t want to be some guy’s rebound. But hell, he needs _something_ right now.

“Look, I know you are just as fucked up in this situation as she is, and I think you two should just try being platonic. Maybe… Maybe in the future when we’re all a little more adult, you two can try it again. It’s not like you two don’t have the time, you’ll live far past he rest of us, if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen eventually.” He hugs you and all though you initially want to pull away, you figure you can allow it this once. Maybe the dumb fish guy isn’t THAT fucking awful after all.

YOU are awoken at the ass crack of dawn.

It’s a too-hot-already morning in Texas, despite you still living in L.A. with your sister (gotta milk that ‘genius twins’ thing dry) You still hate a home in Houston. You stay here when ever there’s a large gap in your schedule, just like Rose goes up to stay with your mother, who is still kicking somehow, you thought she’d have died of liver failure years ago.

But the present situation is that a loud crash has forced you to wake from your slumber prematurely. You investigate, with your sword, of course. You look like a regular dude right now, no makeup, different shades, stubble and a birds nest of a hairdo, no one will recognize you, they never do.

Just outside your apartment building, right across the street in a vacant lot, is a smouldering hole. One hell of a crash, you think, until closer inspection reveals that the crash is in fact a fucking meteor landing. What the fuck?

Against what little commonsense you possess, you go closer, only to find quite possibly the most fuckin outrageous thing possible. It’s a baby. It’s an actual fucking child.

The baby has wide orange eyes and a dappling of freckles across it’s face. It- no, He, looks like less that a year, maybe, you don’t know how kids work. What you do know, is this is your kid. Its your fucking kid.

You don’t say anything as you pick him up and head back to your building. He doesn’t so much as make a peep. The more you look at him, the more you’re sure. His face, it looks so much like those old kid photos of your brother you used to tease him about. Except… He also reminds you of Rose, somehow, you decide is a “panic and call my sister for help” kind of situation. Rose picks up the phone and turns on facetime. You are shocked to see a baby in her arms and a smirk on her face.

"Oh, so I take it that Dirk has arrived?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just fyi Jade and Rose do not in fact know the entire scope of whats happening they're just overly eager dumbasses

YOU are currently in the main room of the Lalonde mansion, upstate New York. Besides giving you a name for the kid and a couple of basic ‘how to make sure it don’t die’ Rose has told you nothing. She said that she was only going to explain this once so until you, John and Jade could book it to her place, she wasn’t saying shit. You think Jade knows more than she’s letting on too, which means it’s just you and John looking like dumbasses, what else is new?

As soon as you get through the door, Jade is bombarding you. She would very much like to hold the baby, please give her the baby. You give her Dirk and she coos at him whilst you dump your shit on the floor.

“Aight sis, enough with the cryptic shit, what’s up with the mysterious infants.” Rose raises an eye at you, she’s sitting on the couch, using one foot to gently rock a baby swing? You have no fuckin clue what that thing is, but Roxy looks please, so you guess it’s fine.

“I suppose now would be the time, but firstly, Jade, let’s go put the babies down, I set up an extra crib for Dirk in Roxy’s room. Jade bounds after Rose with your kid and niece (god, that’s fucking wild. You’re a goddamn uncle!) and a few moments later, the girls come back down. John, as if deciding _now_ was the time to enter the conversation, is the first to speak upon their return.

“So the first question, is how did _Dave_ get someone pregnant?” You choke, Jade and Rose laugh, loudly.

“Bold of you to assume Dave could have sex with anyone possessing the right organs for that”

“Bold you to assume that Dave’s a top!” Traitors, the both of them. And John too because he agrees with them.

“Neither of us had sex with anyone! These are some fucking meteor spawn, I swear on my life” You raise your hands defensively and Rose nods in agreement.

“Yes, we did in fact _find_ these two instead of reproducing” John looks at you all skeptically.

“uh huh, and I’m a three-foot tall goblin” He crosses his arms and leans back in his seat.

“That’s not all that far off from your actual height” Jade jabs into his side and he squeaks in protest.

“Fine, let’s say I believe you, where in the fuck did they come from?”

“Well, ectobiologically, speaking, our genes tossed into a blender and dumped into a tube. Then they were shot off of a meteor, through a dimensional portal and landed near us.” You and John stare at her like she’s insane, Jade, however, does not look surprised.

“Rose, you cannot be fucking serious-“ Rose cuts you off with a hand.

“Jade, shall you or I explain our precognition?” Jade bounces in her seat.

“Can I do it? Please???” Rose smiles and gives her the floor. You and John wait patiently for whatever bulshit these two cooked up.

“So!! Like you guys already know, me and Rose just sometimes know things that we shouldn’t, but it’s for two very different reasons! From what we can tell, it has a lot to do with ourselves in an alternate universe having these powers and because we’re identical to them, we’ve managed to retain some of their powers. I see visions in the clouds, but the weather outside determines what kind of visions I see. Rose is a Seer, although we don’t know what that its, really. But basically, she sees what is the most fortunate thing for us to see at that moment! You can go now, Rose” Rose takes over speaking and Jade folds her hands in her lap patiently.

“My abilities are far less predictable than Jade’s, but Jade’s visions tend to not show the full story and thus manipulate the view. Mine are more direct, but again, I cannot cause them like she can. Jade’s visions early on lead her to contact me through pesterchum, and me to have a vison telling me to contact John. She also saw the Ectolabs where we were all created and that eventually, children belonging to our bloodlines would fall. My visions spurred on by hers yet again, lead me to find out that Dirk and Roxy would be first. Through this we discovered that her visons sometimes trigger mine, but it’s still not a solid connection.” Just when you thought your life couldn’t be _more_ of a movie plot, your sister and best girl bro throw some scifi into the fuckin mix.

“I recognize this is hard to believe, but me and Jade are quite sure about these abilities and their validity” Hard to believe? No shit man. She’s straight up telling you she’s a fucking prophet or some shit and she describes it as ‘hard to believe’?

“Rose this is the wackest shit you’ve ever said, and yes, I’m including all of the wizard porn you’ve recited to me” You cross your arms defiantly, this is bulshit.

“While we can’t just spur on visions that will prove our point, Jade, _can_ do something that will prove that whatever is going on in our lives is at the very least supernatural” You raise a single eyebrow and Jade laughs, it’s cool, not funny. Goddamnit you think you’re blushing now.

“Yep! I can prove that teleportation is real!” before you or John can interject, Jade lets out a long whistle and her huge ass hellhound appears out of green fucking fire. You scramble up the couch and nearly fall backward, Rose makes a similar sound and a fluffy white cat appears in her lap from the same green flames. Both girls seem entirely too ok with this, John is shrieking and you are _certain_ that you are having a nightmare.

“John, Dave, meet Earth’s First Guardians, GCAT and Becquerel.” Rose gestures to the animals and you start to settle back down since they don’t seem to be aggressive. Jade pats the dog’s head and it’s big _green_ tongue flops out of it’s mouth.

“from what we can tell, First Guardians are the children of a celestial body referred to as The Green Sun. There is only supposed to be one per planet, but somehow, we have ended up with Bec as well as GCAT. Jade’s theory is that Bec is from another universe and was somehow transported here. My theory builds off of hers, suggesting that First Guardians are inherently interdimensional beings and that Bec purposely left an alternate earth when it was destroyed or no longer needed a guardian.” You take a deep breath.

“Ok, so what exactly are First Guardians Supposed to do?” You sister produces a diagram from behind the chair, this is gonna be a long conversation.

YOU are trying to stop what is gearing up to be an ugly fight.

Eridan has taken to visiting you at home. You trusted him enough after awhile to tell him where you were. Apparently he’s actually not as much of a rich pussy grub as you thought, because he made it up the mountain with only a little trouble (I.E. one of nepeta’s pit traps) You and Kanaya were cleaning his wounds and goddamn, seadwellers can live through some _shit_ man; then Vriska came up. She was arriving for the weekly tabletop flarp session with some of the others. She tried to get them into _actual_ FLARP but You and Kanaya threatened to boot her ass off the mountain if she did. She came into your hive to pillage some snacks like she always does, when she saw Eridan, now the two of them, one who is significantly injured, are locked in a wrestling match. Kanaya’s trying her damnedest to pull them apart, but it’s just not working. The others can hear the commotion and have started filling into the hive to see what’s up. The blood in your veins starts pumping faster and all you can hear is your pusher beating like it’s about to pop out. You can’t take it, something has to **_Stop_**

“ **FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU NEEDS TO SIT DOWN AND SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP** ” You feel the words leave your body like a spell, your anger and worry hang heavy in the air and- unbelievably, all of them sit their asses down, even Eridan and Vriska, who are both panting heavily, sit completely still. Kanaya reacts first.

“Karkat, you, your eyes were lime for a moment…” You sputter out something incomprehensible and decide to take advantage of the situation.

“Vriska, Nepeta, Tavros, Aradia and Sollux, get the fuck out of my hive and go start your FLARP session. Equius, can you go get some more bandages from your hive since this idiot just ripped all our hard work? Terezi, you’re now in charge of snack acquisition since _someone_ can’t handle themselves. Kanaya, please put the dumb fish back on the table so we can fix him again.” And they do, they just _do_. With out anymore badgering from you, they all just go and do exactly what you told them to.

Once everyone is in motion, you return to bandaging Eridan with Kanaya, there is an uncomfortable silence between you three, like both of them want to bring it up but neither knows how. It’s when you’re done applying the last bit of gauze that Eridan seems to figure out how to talk.

“Alright, Kar, what the fuck just happened?” You choose to be a bitch about it.

“I think YOU just fist fought your ex in my fucking nutrition block, is what just happened” He sniffs and turns his head away from you. Entitled ass.

“I know it’s not a subject you like to broach, but I feel as if we really must discuss your- potential for other abilities” Kanaya says, eyes flicking in between you and Eridan. Well, fuck, you hadn’t _planned_ on telling Eridan you were a mutant, but now Kanaya has all but spelled it out. You heave a sigh loud enough to bother people down the mountain. This is either the moment Kanaya murders a Seadweller or the moment you manage to convince a fucking loyalist to not report you.

“Eridan, wipe that look off your face, and turn back around. I’m placing a fuck load of trust in you and you damn well better be looking at me when I say this,” You don’t think you like how quickly he turns around to face you. Eridan’s gossiper senses are tingling and damn if he doesn’t show it.

“I’m- goddamnit, Kanaya, can you?” She places a hand on your shoulder, she knows how hard it is for you to say out loud.

“Karkat is an off-spectrum mutant. All we really know is that I somehow found his egg as a wriggler and my lusus decided to keep him. I really don’t remember much from then either, I was only 2…” Eridan looks at you with shock, but not malice, the blows you expect never come and he slumps inward on himself, it’s a stark difference from his usual fake regal pose.

“Fuck, I can see why ya’ didn’t tell me that before now an shit. What kinda lusus did you have, Kan?” You are taken a back at the question, you’re a mutant and he’s asking about Kanaya’s Lusus?

“Um, she was a virgin mother grub…” He nods solemnly.

“Then it don’t really matter what I think, you’ve got more a’ standin than I do.” You don’t understand, but he doesn’t stop talking for long.

“look, I know I don’t know people very well, I tend to fuck that up as royally as my caste, but I do know Lusi, some you can really trust the opinions of, some don’t give a flyin fuck ’bout you or their ward. Needless to say I respect a fuckin mother grub’s opinion. Damn things are never wrong about trolls. An also, have you ever thought you might be mutated from a lime? Because I’m fairly certain I know what ability you just used.”

YOU are out in a field, like an honest to god field in the middle of fuck all nowhere. Rose and Jade are playing with the babies, you and John are looking like idiots in front of them.

The girls explain that throughout their adolescence they have been trying to acquire the same powers that their other selves have managed. You thought that was bulshit and you called them on it. Even if _if_ you four attained god like status in another universe, more than their little visions bleeding through seemed unrealistic. It was a miracle the visions even got through. But then Jade shrunk a plant down to dollhouse size and you were a little less skeptical. They talked in length about meditation and other crap you didn’t pay attention to, but basically it boiled down to you all being like a vodka bottle that the kids keep putting water in so you won’t notice that they drank it: the possible power you can get is waaaay less than what the original bottle contained.

Naturally, they want you two to see what powers you can borrow from other you.

You start off with John because apparently It’s easier to connect when the whether matches that of the place your other-self got their power. Rose when it was raining, jade during a snowstorm, you during a hot as hell day and John, in a cool, heavy overcast day. Needless to say John won the lotta card for best weather option. Also needless to say, it’s upstate New York in the fall/summer in between time, yeah it’s a nice day out.

You don’t really see what this is gonna do, you’ve been strifing for like an hour, you’re actually starting to sweat, and there is not a single sign of magic bulshit in the air. Until something fucky happens.

John’s panting, hard, his face is red and his glasses are fogging up. The girls gave him a Warhammer for god sakes and he can’t lift it for more than a couple seconds despite their claims of it being a lighter build. He’s obviously fed up and looks like he wants to call it quits. You flash step toward him, aiming to just knock him down- but then the wind kicks up, a slight breeze becoming forceful- and… and _your_ ass is the one on the ground. John’s hammer came right at your legs, not with too much force, but obviously with more than the little bit he could manage just seconds before. Jade starts clapping and Rose calls out to you.

“Good job, John! See if you can blow the wind under Dave and push him back up!” John still looks tired and confused.

“I- what?” he says between breaths. The girls repeat the instructions, you stay on the ground for a bit longer.

John skrews up his face into a comic expression as he tries to call the wind, you sit on the ground patiently and actually curious if he can do it. To your surprise, your body is lifted from the ground and placed lightly back on your feet. Holy shit! You and John exchange dumb giddy laughs and the girls clap their paise again.

It’s been a couple days since John’s break through and you are getting tired of being the odd man out. Rose keeps messing with the lights in the house, apparently it was hard to _stop_ doing before she told you about everything, Jade can teleport, not far, but she still keeps scaring the shit out of you by popping up out of nowhere and John, well, he seems to be constantly followed by the wind, messing up your hair, cooling down your coffee and most annoyingly, he can actually beat you in a strife now. Rose suggested that other-John likely used his command over air to make his hammer lighter before he built up the necessary muscles to swing it on his own, and the dude has been going to _town_ with that information. He straight up floats a little off the ground now, just to be a prick! Also he can tell the weather. Which is dumb but whatever you guess.

You are sitting at the kitchen island, drinking coffee and hoping Dirk doesn’t wake up for another hour or so when the telltale wisps of air announce John’s arrival.

“Hey dude! We should strife out in the field again!” You snort.

“Why, so you can wipe the floor with my sorry ass?” He cracks a wide grin.

“Much as I’d love to do that, no, it’s gonna be hot today, like really fuckin hot,” You narrow your eyes incredulously.

“No fuckin way, man. I know you got weather mojo, but it’s fall, and the north, it ain’t getting hot”

You eat your words. It’s 12pm and 95 degrees out. Like, how the hell?

The girls are under parsols this time and they brought little battery-operated fans for the babies. You and John are once again looking like idiots in front of them. John starts.

“Ready for an ass whooping?” He calls you maintain your ground, like hell he’s getting the best of you.

He gets the best of you.

By cheating! He throws you around like a rag doll and you flop through the air in such a comical fashion that you’d be laughing your ass off if it weren’t annoying as hell.

Your feet hit the ground and suddenly, as if gears are turning in your head, you grind them to a halt. Everything stops, the wind, your friends, everything. You can stop time! That’s so fuckin- _HORRIFYING._ Like, what the fuck are the implications of time stopping powers, can you speed time, or reverse it? What kind of trouble could you cause by messing with the pas? Does this mean everything is set in stone or is the future still malleable? Your head spins with questions and your concentration drops, time resumes and the others look at you with concern as you hold your head and grapple with the power you have gotten. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Rose’s eyes glow yellow for a moment, she hands off Roxy to Jade and comes over to you.

“It’s ok, Dave, we’ll figure it out together..” 


	7. Plot? PLOT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enjoy an *update* with *plot*

YOU are not in a good mood. Eridan has been really fuckin cryptic about what ability you supposedly have. It’s been nearly a wipe since his outburst and you finally got the bastard to answer his goddamned palm husk

CG: ERIDAN AMPORA YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR GHOSTING ME AFTER DROPPING A BOMBSHELL ON ME!

CA: cod kar it aint that serious.

CA: ok it kinda is

CA: but duty called and I had to wwork so I was kinda indisposed for a bit

CG: OH WELL THAT EXPLAINS EVERTHING! THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU MAGNANIMOUS DICKBAG!

CG: EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU DO MUCH LESS HOW LONG IT TAKES!

CA: Ok shit kar, I’ll be over in a couple hours

CA: wwait

CA: wvris aint there, right?

CG: YES ERIDAN, I’D LET YOU COME OVER TO MY HIVE IF I KNEW YOUR EX WHO VISCIOUSLY MAULED YOU THE LAST TIME YOU SAW EACHOTHER WAS GOING TO BE AROUND

CA: I wwas just fuckin checkin kar no need to get your panties in a twist

CG: NOTHING IS TWISTED IN MY PANTS AND EVEN IF THEY WERE IT IS NONE OF YOUR GODDAMNED BUSSINESS

CA: wwhatevver, I’ll be there soon

caligulasAquarium (CA) is an idle troll!

UGH the _nerve_ of this asshole! You want to bitch at Kanaya for a while.

You find her in the communal living space, she’s sewing something and honestly you don’t care to ask.

“Eridan’s coming over to answer the burning question I’ve had for the last fucking wipe” She hums a reply and you just kinda sit in front of her and start bitching.

Aparently you take a full ass two hours to finish bitching, your throat is dry and Kanaya has probably not even heard anything you said. That’s fine, though, you know your inane rambles get on her nerves when she _does_ manage to tune in, they aren’t that important anyway.

Eridan announces his arrival right after you get done chugging water in the nutrition block.

“Kar? Hey, Kan, where’s Kar?”

“Nutrition Block” Eridan enters immediately afterward.

“Out with it, fishfuck” He huffs and crosses his arms

“Hi, Kar,nice to see you too” You roll your eyes.

“Anywway, I do have some info for you…” He rummages through his bag and pulls out a book. It’s old and weathered, it makes loud crinkling noises as he flips through the pages.

“ I wwasn’t all that sure I had remembered it right before but I did so, do you wwant me to read it to you?” You make a move to grab the book from him, but he pulls away.

“I can read it myself, jackass” He raises and eyebrow and shows you the words.

“It’s an old ass text, Kar, unless you can read ancient Beforean, I better do the readin” asshat. You tell him fine and he starts to read.

“The one true fear, of course is not the physical prowess of the Indigos nor the abilities of those few blessed Golds, not even the sinister mind-bending ability of Ceruleans. It is the Lime bloods who hold all our power. It is they who have smooth speak and charming voices that make us not only bend to them physically but emotionally. Their pitying words drenched in saccharine sweetness are enough to calm the greatest warlords and stop the blows of the most insane of our brethren. They sit at the side of almost every ruler, every statesman or Politian, quietly whispering their words of encouragement and orders into their aural cavities. We have decided, if our rule is to last, they must not remain.” You feel a shiver run down your spine and jump as Eridan snaps the book shut.

“Apparently Lime bloods had some sort of ability that worked best on those they already had relationships with, and it seemed to heavily influence them emotionally and physically. I’ve only heard about it a few times, and this is that most coherent documentation.” You sit down and put your head in your hands.

“You think I’m mutated from a Lime blood?” Eridan shrugs and helps him self to some snacks.

“I mean, it’s the most likely answer. Say, Kar, where did you get your sign? Maybe that piss blood bastard wwill help you look for it’s origins,” You throw fruit at his head.

“his name is Sollux, either call him by it or fuck off,” you think about his question for a second and respond accordingly,

“I’m pretty sure Kanaya knows, let me ask,” You open your mouth and screech her name, she pads into the block and fixes you with a glare.

“Karkat, I can hear just fine, and to answer your question, Mother drew it in the sand when I asked what sign to put onto your clothing.” Eridan’s eyes open wide.

“No shit? That’s sketchy as hell, definitely get the pis-I mean Sol, to look for your sign. Anywave, I gotta get goin, Fef needs to talk to me.” You try to call him back, but he continues walking out your door. Goddamnit, you guess you’re gonna go talk to Sollux.

YOU are really getting tired of these visions.

To be fair, you’ve hated your visions for years, but it’s worse now.

As if having a child wasn’t tiring enough, you also keep getting awoken by visions. Today’s brand of crazy demands immediate action. You clamber out of bed and to your desk. Your computer has already illuminated the room and you squint into the light. You open pesterchum and type in a name.

tentacleTherapist (TT) has begun pestering grimAuxillatrix (GA)

GA: Who Is This?

GA: And How Did You Acquire My Trolltag?

TT: You can call me Rose

GA: Odd Name, Answer The Second Question

TT: I have visions, the latest of which calls for me to converse with you

GA: Ah Yes, And I Am Flying Oink-Beast

TT: Your name is Kanaya Maryam and you see the future in the clouds

GA: I

GA: I Have Never Even Spoken That Aloud

GA: How The Fuck?

GA: Wait! You Are the Alien I Saw!

TT: Technically speaking neither of us are truly aliens since we are both still on our home planets.

GA: Don’t Be Coy, Are You?

TT: Yes, most likely I am

TT: In fact, it’s very likely that you seeing me triggered my seeing you

GA: How So?

TT: A close friend of mine sees the future in a similar manner to you, her visions sometimes spur on my own, especially if I am involved.

GA: I Admit, Skeptical As I May Be, I Am Also Very Intrigued By The Prospect

TT: I understand your hesitance, all I ask of you is to not tell anyone, not yet, I fear that doing so may send us careening off of our designated course

GA: Again, I Feel You Are Being Truthful

GA: So What Do We Need To Discuss

TT: Let’s start with the basics. I live on a planet called Earth, my species is called humans and we are Diurnal. And you?

GA: I am a Troll, our planet is called Beforus and we are Nocturnal. Our sun is too hot for all but my caste to be able to go out in the day.

TT: Interesting, do you have familial relations?

YOU are a little irritated.

Dirk’s not eating, he just keeps throwing it at you and demanding _something_ but hell if you know what! You decide to try _try_ and put him down for a nap. You set him down in his crib and tiptoe out of his room in a foolish attempt to get him to sleep, as soon as you exit the door, the air goes still.

You have grown accustomed to the feeling, since you started using your wack-ass powers. It means that some one is stoping time, and you don’t think it’s you.

“Hey” Calls a very familiarly monotone voice, it’s your own. At the end of the hallway stands a teenaged version of yourself, you hesitantly walk forward.

“How in the _fuck-”_ he holds a hand up to stop you.

“I can feel Time on you, so you know what we can do, to make it short, I’m from another universe, I’m another you”

“Well, that last part was obvious, I remember what I looked like as a dumbass teen, dude” His face remains impassive, it’s unnerving, you weren’t exactly the most emotive person before your brother died, but years with your sister and friends softened you, it’s weird to see that expressionless face again.

“I just wanted to check it, see what kinda set up Dirk had, it’s pretty cushy here”

“Not like how you grew up?”

“No, not like how you did either” You nod in acknowledgement, that feeling of being a broke kid from Texas never _really_ leaves you.

“And, how do you know Dirk? If you’re from a different universe” He shrugs.

“Can’t tell you much, it’ll cause all sorts of shenanigans, Ara will slay me if I bone up your timeline. But I bust into this universe in the future, self-preservation mostly. We had a chat. He’s a lot different than my version of him, wanted to see if you were like me or not” You can practically feel the tension around his words, trying to sort out what he could and couldn’t tell you.

“What was your Dirk like?”

“no good at raising me, for one. Possessed by a sadistic twelve year old, for two” You raise a brow.

“You’re shitting me”

“Gog I wish, man” Now that you look at him, really look, you can see the scars all over his face, his weird cape get up hides the rest of him, but you saw the same white lines marring his hands too. This kid’s really been through the ringer.

“You wanted to make sure I wasn’t a gigantic dickhead like whoever raised you?” He doesn’t say anything for a minute, then lets out a sigh.

“Goddamnit, I promised I wasn’t gonna- _fine_. Look, I don’t even think I really knew the guy, I couldn’t tell what was him and what was influenced by Cal _FUCK_ forget that name!” His hands are in his hair now and he’s pacing. Welp, that’s a little more familiar. His phone rings and he answers it by tapping his shades (what the fuck???)

“Kat? Yeah, no-Babe, I’m fine, don’t worry- tell Rose she’s a snitch and I’m putting rat poison in her tea. Dude, he’s still right here in the- Of course I answered, you go into panic mode when I don’t answer, dumbass. I’ll wrap it up, I swear. Wait, don’t tell Ara that I’m here she’ll roast me!” The other person hangs up and he slides the phone back into his pocket.

“if you ever meet your version of that dude, date the shit out of him, I’m telling you, do it, man. And know, I’m not telling you his name, you can figure it out.” A red portal (portal? Yeah, you think) appears next to him, it crackles with electric green sparks and opens to reveal a very strange looking girl. She’s dressed in another strange outfit, the same colors and symbol as younger Dave but, she also has grey skin and horns, this just keeps getting weirder, doesn’t it? She flicks his head and looks at him with a tad bit of amusement.

“You never listen to me, do you Dave?” He sticks his tongue out at her.

“Life’s boring without a little nonsense. Besides, I’ve kept everything pretty clean”

“Uh _huh_ ” She crosses her arms and shakes her head.

“We need to get back, preferably before you make anymore doomed timelines”

“Me? Never! You know my motto, Megido, ‘dead Daves are the enemy’, I live by that shit” he pulls out two gear shaped turntables from assumedly his sylladex and pulls off some complicated motion, resulting in a similar portal appearing.

“historically, no, you do not live by it, bye other Dave, please forget anything problematic that our Dave told you” She waves and follows him into the red portal.

You stand and stare for a full ass five minutes before you realize that time has restarted in the other Dave’s absence, you make a mad dash to your computer, Rose is gonna FLIP.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two chapters??? this close together??? unheard of, incredible. I'm procrastinating writing an essay  
> also homestuck5.com continues to be my saving grace like wtf did i do without it to do my pesterlogs for me

YOU have been cleaning your hive all fucking day. Why? Eridan is bringing his ex-but-not-really-only-sort-of moirail over and you’ll be DAMNED if some highblood is gonna walk in here and insult your interior decorating. You don’t actually think that she will, she seems polite from what he’s told you, but he also seemed really fucking nervous about bringing her here, something about her lusus being “A reel control freak, Kar, like, she literally only gets talks to me”. Which is more than a little concerning but fuck if you’re not interested, Gog knows you collect trauma infected trolls like it’s an obsessive hobby.

“You’re rather frantic about all this” Kanaya says, thanks, captain obvious, you sneer at her and she makes a disgusted face.

“Don’t do that, you look hideous when you’re trying to be menacing” You throw a pillow at her, which she catches and puts back on your seating cushions.

“Oh, you’re right, forgive me for caring about cleaning up YOUR mess tornado!” She flushes and stals back to her study.

“I am _not_ messy!” Gog, she’s so fucking touchy about it. You’ve argued with Kanaya about her cleanliness since you were wrigglers and it never fails to piss her of exponentially. But you’ll be damned if you spare her feelings, spools of cloth _do not_ belong on the floor, tossed over seating and draped like curtains on high shelves; is it _that_ hard to put them back in your study? No! No, it isn’t!

“KAR! We’re here!”

“Jegus, Eridan, how many times do I have to tell you to not yell in my hive? Gog, you’re worse that Ter-“ You cut off as you turn around and look directly at the mother fucking _heiress._ You scramble up and contemplate runing back toward your block in a panic, both of the seadwellers look pretty sheepish for people that could murder you with no fucking repercussions.

“Kar, I’m sorry I didn’t warn ya but she reely ain’t gonna hurt you or no fin-“

“ERIDAN YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH THE HEIRESS? YOUWERE _IN A QUADRANT_ WITH THE HEIRESS?” They both cover their fins as you yell and Kanaya emerges from her study, frozen in equal shock to your own.

“Liten, Kar it ain’t that serious I swear!” The heiress interrupts him and smiles at you, but it’s shaky and nervous, like she’s afraid YOU will hurt HER.

“I’m reely sorry that I scared you! I told Eri-fin not to tell you because I hoped this would go a little smoother… I thought maybe you’d say you didn’t wantto meet me if you knew…” Aw hell, you looks so much like a scared little kid, fuckin sea dwellers, do they all have a guilt tripping ability or something, because you _swear_ Eridan pulls the same shit.

You tentatively shake her hand.

She brightens up at your acceptance and shakes your hand a little to hard, Eridan puts a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

“Fef, we talked about the shakin- you’re too rough for mids and lows” she releases your hands quickly, it’s a little sore, but you’re fine.

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry! I didn’t hurt you right?” You shake your head and sigh.

“I really don’t know what I got my self into her, but I’m Karkat Vantas, That’s Kanaya Maryam and you?”

“Feferi Pexies! It’s very nice to meet you!” Feferi turns out to be rather chatty once she gets comfortable, Eridan and her explain that they were afraid of your reaction and decided to keep the heiress thing a secret after you and him became friends. He finally spills the beans about his job, he’s the goddamned Orphaner, no wonder he’s working so much, dude has the fuckin planet on his back. Eventually, Feferi mentions that it’d be nice to meet your other friends and you reluctantly agree to gather the shitheads after she promises to help keep the peace if Eridan and Vriska get into it again.

Nepeta and Equius get there first and the latter of which nearly dies on sight when he sees that the guest in question is a fucking heiress. Terezi and Vriska are surprisingly polite and you expect that even _they_ are thrown by her appearance on your mountain. Why they were even around right now instead, being at they’re own damn hives, you don’t bother asking, it’ll only increase your headache. Sollux and Aradia, to your shock, get along with her the best. She is instantly enamored by Sollux’s psiionics and Aradia’s telekinesis, Aradia is just happy to chat and Sollux actually looks flustered at all the compliments she keeps landing on him.

By the end of the night, you’re exhausted to the bone, Eridan suggests that the two of them sleep in his airship for the night before flying back to the coast, but Feferi insists on staying down on the ground, if you and Kanaya are okay with that. You two offer her one of your recoupracoons but she insists that she can sleep without sopor just fine, Eridan too, apparently. Lucky bastards. They crash in your communal block and you retire back to your own block, you stop short at Kanaya’s partially open door, peaking your head in just a little. She’s so distracted with her husktop screen that her excellent hearing doesn’t pick you up, she smiles at the chat window. It’s a familiar one, like how she looked at Vriska back when- _Kanaya has a flush crush_. You are so stunned by the news that she may have finally moved on from Vriska that you slip, she turns to look at you.

“Karkat, do you need something?” You decide to be quiet about it for now.

“No, just telling you to not stay up all day again.”

“I’ll be in bed soon” She goes back to the screen, _yeah right_ you think, but well, you think she deserves a little bit of a break right now.

YOU are talking to the alien woman again, Rose Lalonde. She’s managed to enamor you in such a small amount of time that you can’t help but feel like it’s a dream. Her wit is undescribably funny as it is clever, her prose is always so well crafted that it feels like you’re reading a novel, not a Trollian message. And each time you see her tag pop up on your screen, you get far too excited to read it.

It’s concerning, if you’re honest. Karkat is bound to start noticing how long you stay awake each day to talk with her. He’s a little oblivious sometimes, but he’s not stupid. Besides, it’s silly to spend so much time talking to someone galaxies away, you’ll never travel far enough to meet her, even if you’d very much like to. But, there she is again, greeting you for today and you can’t help but melt back into conversation with her.

tentacleTherapist (TT) has begun trolling grimAuxiliatrix (GA)   
TT: Good morning, Kanaya   
GA: Good Morning To You As Well, Rose   
TT: I’m afraid I’ll be less avalible for talking today, my brother and I are to begin a new project and I need to work on the script.   
GA: Oh, For A Play Or Film? I Thought You Were A Novellist?   
TT: I most certainly am, however, I occasionally work on movies with my brother. Great director as he may be, horror and romance are two genres he cannot write to save his life, so I aid in projects that include those themes.   
GA: Romance Writing, I Think You’d Have Quite A Bit To Talk About With Karkat.   
TT: He is sort of like your sibling, correct?   
GA: I Suppose, The Description Of You And Dave’s Relationship Is Certainly Parallel To Ours.   
TT: Well, if he’s a writer, I wouldn’t mind an extra set of eyes on my work. I self publish and thus my main beta readers are my friends and Dave.   
GA: I’ll Give You His Tag…   
GA: carcinoGenetisist (CG)   
TT: Ah, found him, grey typing?   
GA: Yes, That Is Him, I Must Warn You, Though, He Can Be Rather…   
GA: Loud   
GA: And Particularly Fussy When The Topic Of His Favorite Media Genre Is Brought up.   
TT: Romance, I’m assuming?   
GA: Romantic Comedies In Specific. Though He Is Rather Brash, I Promise He is a Good Critic And a Better Friend, Once you Get Used To The High Pitched Yelling.   
TT: Message received, does he know who I am, or should I wait until you tell him that?   
GA: Oh Dear   
TT: A resounding ‘no’ then.   
GA: My Apologies, He Can Be Rather Cynnical And To Be Honest He Doesn’t Even Know About My Prophetic Dreams.   
TT: Kanaya, I tell you this with your best interest in mind,   
TT: What the fuck.   
GA: I Know, Truly, I Trust Him More Than Anyone Else, But I Didn’t Want To Burden Him With It And It’s Possible Implications.   
TT: You need to tell your friends, all of them.   
GA: Ok, Now It’s My Turn To Say It.   
GA: What The Fuck   
TT: You’ve explicitly told me on many occasions that you have seen them in your visions as well, it involves them and they should know about it.   
GA: I Don’t Know If You Remembered My Description Of Our Friend Group, But I Do Believe I Used The Words “ Completely Batshit” and “Stupidly Cause-Driven” Or Perhaps “Incredibly Prone To Danger And Other Inane Shit”   
TT: Yes and I described mine as “intolerably oblivious” “brilliant in the least useful ways” and “more easily distracted than a baby”   
TT: As much as it may be a rough ride, letting them in on what we know, you may find that their input is more than a little helpful. I also suspect that at least one other of you may be having visions as well.   
GA: What Makes You Say That?   
TT: It’s hard to explain, really, I told you that I am a Seer, not that I know what that means, correct?   
GA: You Have   
TT: I feel her out there   
GA: You’ll Have To Elaborate   
TT: It’s like, oh, Jade Explained pretty well, she is experiencing something similar, as are the boys   
TT: Ah, there it is, I went looking through our logs   
TT: “it’s like when I activate my powers or when I see something really important in the clouds, like there is someone else there next to me. Two? I think. one feels like stars and mint and the moon. The other feels like an ocean and jewels and sand. Like they share something with me that I don’t know about yet, you know?”   
GA: That… Is Incredibly Interesting   
GA: I’ve Felt Something, In My More Recent Dreams, But I Haven’t Really Focased On It Thus Far, I will Have To Try When I Sleep.   
TT: I implore you to do so, as for me, there are also two people. I have a little more of a sense for them than just random things. They are both sharp and angular in action and in features, one is definitely lawful, though chaotic, the other seems to act only in her own self interest. And they are definitely female.   
TT: Does that sound familiar at all?   
GA: Yes, That’s Considerably More Descriptive   
GA: And I Definitely Know Two Sharp Girls With Wildly Different Morals   
GA: You May Not Like The Answer, Though   
TT: Well, going off of that….   
TT: Oh goddamnit, is it “the crazy bitch that broke my heart”   
GA: Vriska, Yes, That’s The One With Dubious Alinements At Best   
TT: Fuck   
GA: The Other Is Terezi   
TT: “blind but somehow navigates as if she can see perfectly and licks everything within range”?   
GA: That Would Be Her   
TT: So, very interesting at the least   
GA: Rather Polite Way Of Saying “What The Fuck Do I Share With Lunatics”   
TT: I suppose   
TT: I’ll Talk to you tonight, get some rest, Kanaya   
GA: Have A Good Day, Rose   
tentacleTherapist (TT) ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix (GA)

You sit back in your chair and bite your lip. Now, how are you going to tell this shit to the lot of them? And do you have to include the seadwellers (you know the answer is yes, they are a part of the group now) Well, you should at least _try_ to sleep, lest Karkat catch you in one of his midday snack runs.


	9. Chapter 9

YOUR NAME

Is JOHN EGBERT

It’s been nearly three years since your best friends, Rose and Dave, lost their kids, you spent the first year searching, spending absurd amounts of money getting private investigators, the police, the general public, _everyone_ to look for them. You don’t regret it for a second, despite the lack of results. As for Dave and Rose, you can’t say much as to how they’re doing. Rose fucked off to her childhood home not long after the kids were pronounced legally dead. She still writes, it’s melancholy and some of the darkest work you’ve ever read, but Dave’s songs are worse, the pain in his voice being so audible has brought you to tears. You don’t talk to them much, anymore, you know you should, realistically, but you can’t it just… It feels like they need the time to grieve, even if it’s been years.

You, on the other hand, have flourished. You train with Jade when neither of you are busy, something that has become more of a rarity lately, and you always have new jobs to take, new roles to play. It’s fun, it’s _good_ , so why do you feel so _bad?_

Today is a truly rare occasion, Jade’s busy, but you are not, it feels like forever since the last time you had a day all to yourself, you _were_ playing video games and eating junk food, just a typical relaxing day, when your phone starts buzzing. Jade is _not_ texting you right not, she’s giving a lecture, and as much as you’d like to think it was Dave or Rose, you know better, besides, the sun’s still out so neither of them are awake yet. You lift it up and realize it’s from Pesterchum. God, you haven’t used that since you were a kid! But old habits die hard and it’s always the first thing you download on a new phone. You wonder if a fan managed to get a hold of your handle. You weren’t exactly sneaky as a rising star, it could’ve leaked.

gallowsCollaborator (GC) began Trolling ectoBiologist   
Huh, usually it was ‘pestering’ not ‘trolling’   
GC: H311O?   
GC: FUCK   
GC: SO11UX 4R3 YOU SUR3 TH1S WORKS?   
twinArmageddon (TA) Joined the chat   
TA: fiir2t of all how dare u iin2ult my coding abiiliitiie2   
TA: 2econd of all give the a22hole a 2econd two re2pond you douche   
twinArmageddon (TA) Left the chat   
GC: OK SO HUM4N GUY   
GC: I’M NOT 4 HUM4N   
GC: 4ND L1ST3N1NG TO M3 1S 4 GOOD W4Y TO NOT DI3   
EB: uhhh   
GC: OH FUCK 1 GOT 4 STUP1D ON3   
EB: hey!   
GC: H3 SP34KS!   
EB: uh yeah I do and how the fuck did you get my private pesterchum handle?   
EB: are you a rabid fan or something? Because I’m not that interesting out of character I promise   
GC: 3W NO 1 DON’T CONSUM3 YOUR HUM4N M3D14   
EB: hurtful but whatever   
EB: give me a solid reason to not block you and forget this ever happened?   
GC: UGH F1N3   
GC: T4LK TO YOUR SOUR GR4P3 FR13ND   
EB: excuse me?   
GC: TH3 ON3 W1TH FLOW4RY L4NGU4G3 4ND 4 SUP3R1OR1TY COMPL3X   
EB: oh rose   
EB: yeah no she’s either sleeping off a few dozen drinks or currently getting wasted   
EB: nothing she says will be trustworthy or comprehensible   
GC: W3LL FUCK   
GC: 4SK TH3 M1NTY GR33N ON3 W1TH TH3 H3ll B3AST   
EB: Jade? She’s busy right now I’m not just gonna interrupt her lecture   
GC: JUST DO 1T! WH4T’S TH3 WORST TH4T COULD H4PP3N?   
EB: she could get pissy at me   
GC: 4ND?   
GC: YOU’V3 KNOWN H3R FOR3V3R TRUST M3 IT’S H4RD3R TH4N TH4T TO G3T R1D OF OLD FR13NDS   
EB: fine but only because it’s scary how much you seem to know about me.

You exit the app and call Jade, you really don’t want to be annoying, but Jade never misses a call from you. Unless she’s fallen asleep somewhere in opportune again.

“John? I’m about to go out is it important?” You bit your lip and hope this isn’t stupid.

“Hey, some rando started talking to me on Pesterchum and told me to check with you about whether or not they’re trust worthy…” She goes silent for a second,

“What’s the handle?” You flip back to pesterchum and read it again

“Gallows Collaborator?” You hear her muttering on the other line, looking through something you assume is on her phone.

“Trustworthy, listen to whatever inane bulshit she says and we’ll talk about it later- I really gotta go, love you John!” She hangs up and you look back at the phone with confusion. Well, fuck.

EB: ok so maybe you’re trustworthy ish   
GC: 1SH?   
EB: she didn’t elaborate so I’m still skeptical   
GC: WH4T3V3R   
GC: WH4T SHOULD 1 3XPL41N F1RST, TH3 NOT DY1NG TH1NG OR TH3 AL13N TH1NG?   
EB: not dying thing   
EB: no offence but seeing as I’ve witnessed myself and my three closest friends literally use magic, I no longer believe that anything isn’t real until proven otherwise   
GC: YOU KNOW WH4T? F41R   
GC: TH4T W4S K1ND4 HOW 1 F3LT WH3N W3 F1RST ST4RT3D US1NG TH3 BULSH1T POW3RS   
EB: so who’s all of the ’we’   
GC: TW3V3LV3 UNRUL3LY D1CKH34DS W1TH MOR3 SP1TE TH4N 4 H1V3 OF DR1LLBUGS   
EB: drillbugs?   
GC: FUCK ON3 S3C 1 H4V3 4 TR4NSL4T1ON GU1D3   
GC: HORN3TS   
EB: OH!   
EB: wait translation guide   
EB: you’ve talked to other humans?   
GC: NOT M3 BUT K4N4Y4 4ND 4R4DI4 H4V3   
GC: THE M1NTY 4ND GR4P3 ON3S   
EB: I think I would know if two of my friends talked with literal aliens   
GC: W3LL HOW LONG D1D 1T T4K3 FOR TH3M TO T3LL YOU 4BOUT TH31R V1S1ONS?   
EB goddamnit   
EB: flighty broads colluding behind our backs again   
EB: well that’s three out of four now is someone gonna text Dave next?   
GC: 1F TH4TS TH3 CH3RRY BOY W1TH WORD VOM1T TH4N Y3S   
GC: 4CTU4LLY K4RK4T W4S *SUPPOS3D* TO T4LK TO H1M 4 LONG T1M3 4GO BUT H3’S 4 PUSSY   
EB: well don’t expect him to be all that receptive to bulshit right now he’s still pretty messed up from loosing his kid   
She doesn’t respond for a while and you consider leaving your phone to go do something more entertaining.   
EB: uh you there?   
GC: I’M R34D1NG 4R4D14’S IN4N3 NOT3S 4BOUT YOUR SOCI3TY SO I KNOW WH4T TH4 H3LL YOU’R3 S4YING   
EB: ???   
EB: do you guys not have kids or something?   
GC: FUCK UH….   
GC: WRIGGL3RS! W3 C4LL TH3M WR1GGL3RS   
GC: BUT IT’S PR3TTY W31RD FOR 4N 4DULT TO JUST *H4V3* ON3   
GC: NOT UNH34RD OF BUT W31RD   
EB: then who the fuck raises them???   
GC: LUSII????   
twinArmaggedons Joined the chat   
TA: TZ thii2 ii2 paiinful   
TA: you were 2uppossed two read thii2 2hit before talkiing to the human   
TA: human. Troll2 are raii2ed by fauna called Lu2ii becau2e we aren’t diirectly involved iin wriggler productiion a2iide from donating genetiic material   
TA: TZ human2 actiively have to produce theiir own young and thu2 raii2e theiir 2pawn them2elve2   
GC: TH4TS 4 LOT OF 1NFORM4T1ON FOR SOM3ON3 WHO W4S “UN1NT3R3ST3D” 1N TH3 HUM4NS   
TA: 2hut up ii liive wiith AA and 2he made me read all her note2 before 2he gave everyone copiie2   
GC: L1K3LY STORY >.>   
TA: ii’m out   
twinArmaggedons Left the chat   
EB: how do they keep doing that?   
GC: SOLLUX 1S 4 NOSY SH1TH34D 4ND H3 MON1TORS 4LL OUR INT3RST3LL4R COMUN1C4T1ONS.   
twinArmaggedons Joined the chat   
TA: fuck off   
twinArmaggedons Left the chat   
GC: H4!   
EB: ok, back to the ‘not dying’ thing?   
GC: R1GHT OK SO YOU 4R3 *SUPPOS3D* TO DIE IN LIKE UHHH   
GC: 10 1SH SW33PS   
EB: in years please   
GC: V3RY POL1T3! HOW OLD 4R3 YOU IN Y34RS?   
EB: 31   
GC: GR34T ARADIA G4V3 US THE CONV3RS1ON 3QUATION SO GIV3 M3 A S3C   
GC: YOU 4R3 4PROX1M4T3LY 15. 5 SWEEPS   
GC: BOUT TH3 S4M3 4S US 4CTU4LLY   
EB: ok so it sounds like your sweeps are like two years   
GC: 1TS NOT 3X4CT BUT 1T’S CLOS3 3NOUGH   
EB: you guys measure time by how long it takes your planet to rotate around your sun right?   
GC: Y3P SW33PS 4R3 3QU4L TO ON3 ROT4T1ON. TH3Y’R3 D1V1DED 1NTO 12 P3R1GEES 4ND 7-8 W1P3S P3R P3R1G33. 14 D4YS 1N 4 W1P3, 24 hrs 1N 4 D4Y   
EB: that’s like. Eerily similar to earth   
GC: :?   
EB: like I mean. Most of the other planets in our solar system don’t even have exactly the same day/night cycles but you guys are hella far away im assuming since we can’t see you and you have like. Really similar rotations   
GC: F41R BUT WH4TS YOUR PO1NT?   
EB: the similarities could tell us a lot about life bearing planets! Humans have yet to discover another one near us, have you guys?   
EB: god im starting to sound like jade fuck me man   
GC: YOU DO 1NF4CT SOUND PR3TTY N3RDY   
GC: 4LSO Y3S BUT NOT CR34TUR3S W1TH OUR L3V3L OF S3NT13NC3. MOSTLY W3 JUST COLON1Z3 PL4N3TS 4ND 31TH3R K1LL OR DOM3STIC4T3 TH3 F4UN4   
EB: what the fuck why?   
GC: BC OUR 3MP3R3SS IS 4 R4GING D1CTOR4L CUNT B4G   
EB: jesus that bad?   
GC: 4R4D1A H4S 4 NOT3 H3R3 S4Y1NG TO COMP4R4 H3R TO 4 HUM4N C4LLED ‘H1TL3R’   
EB: ok yeah, that bad

You continue talking to the alien, who eventually tells you her name is Terezi, for most of the afternoon. She tells you a lot of shit that you really wish you didn’t need to know, about how your ass is fried at the ripe old age of 50 by a meteor dropped on your house, about how Jade’s gonna kamikaze herself at 60 and how your other two friends only have a few precious years left. If you can’t stop it.

Or, well at least, _kinda_.

JOHN == > BE ROSE

Your name is ROSE LALONDE and you are way too sober for this bulshit. You woke up screaming from another of your patented vision-nightmares, this time, it’s your brother’s death, getting stabbed and then falling into a ring of fire certainly sounds like the kind of dramatics he’d get up to. But you’re hoping it’s not actually a vision and instead is just a (nother) trauma related dream. You get those enough as is.

You stand from your bed and mosey over to the window, your head pounds and whether or not that’s the hangover or your dehydration talking you don’t know, what you do know, is that today is going to be yet another uneventful and depressing day. You, are for once, glad to be wrong.


	10. Rebelin' ain't easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahaha *fuck* I've written more of this than like anything else lately

KARKAT=== > WHATS GOING ON?

YOUR NAME is THE RESTLESS

Or just Karkat, if you’re one of the assholes that grew up with you. You used to live in a normal ass midblood area, then a fucking mountain, and now you live in an abandoned mine. You didn’t think it could get any worse than the brief stint in a shithive inner city town you had but damn if this wasn’t way worse.

You eyes turned the same putrid red as your blood when you reached last pupation at 12 sweeps. You couldn’t leave the mountain anymore, much as you’d loved to every so often, it was too dangerous, one wrong look at your eyes and you’d be dead. Of course, being up there was driving you insane, and with two out of the 11 of you still having bizarre visions on occasion, you were almost always on edge.

So naturally, you all decided to start a fuckin rebellion. Feferi wasn’t exactly keen on getting murked by the empress, you weren’t keen on getting ritually sacrificed by Juggalos or something equally horrible. The others weren’t all that down with watch that shit play out either. So rebellion it was. Convincing lowbloods to join was easy, a few speeches and they were in, the mids were a bit more challenging, but having Kanaya on your side made them at least listen to you, telling them that Kanaya and you were raised by a Virgin Mothergrub sold at least half of them who stayed to hear you out. The teals love the concept of justice too much to miss out on it, the ceruleans had to be bought in with violence or quadrantmates, and well… There were very little highbloods on your side. Duh. But there were a few bleeding blood-pushers out there, and once again, some of them were just there for their quadrantmates.

That big of an army needed a base, a little less open than the top of a mountain, thus you now live in a cave, and it sucks, But hey! You’re not dead! Yet! A nervous looking olive pokes their head into your command block

“Restless? May I come in, the Matriarch sends a message” You wave them in, if it was anyone but Kanaya you might ignore it.

“What does she want now, to nag about my sleeping habits or suggest new drapes for the fake windows?” They try to hide their giggle with a cough.

“Uh, no, sir. She askes that you come in for a fitting soon, you’re previous armor was damaged? She would like some of the others who went on that mission with you to come as well” You tsk at the request and march back to your desk.

“Tell the Corsair and the Justiciar to go in, oh and the Alchemist, if you can find his bony ass” They nod and swiftly exit the room. You dig threw your paper stack absentmindedly. You weren’t _really_ hurt last time, Terezi and Vriska did most of the fighting, as usual, and Eridan backed them up, you just took out whoever wasn’t already entangled with one of those three. More than likely, Kanaya just wants to fuss over you, she hates how often you go out in the field but like hell are you staying here when you send your friends out to fight. You are kind of a hypocrite, though. You rarely assign Kanaya to missions for the same reason. But you cover it up with the fact that she’ll take your place if you’re out of commission. As much as you like Feferi and respect her as a co-leader, you don’t trust her to run this shit alone. She’s a lot softer than she realizes and not very objective. You aren’t either but that’s why you let Eridan or Vriska make the tough moral calls. You don’t know if she’d do that if you weren’t so insistent on it.

Another head pops into view, god, can none of them knock?

“The Heiress is here to see you, sir.” Calls some one you barely recognize, when did this shit get so big that you can’t keep track? Oh well that’s what Nepeta and Tavros are for.

“Let her in”

“Hi Crabkat!” Oh, so we’re defaulting to nicknames, now. In the sweeps you’ve know Feferi for, you’ve caught on to a particular tell of hers, Kanaya calls it ‘softening the blow’ you call it patronizing. When she has bad news, she reverts to a sweet, lusus-like speech that is both offensive and extremely obvious. She hasn’t called you by her dumb fish-pun name in sweeps.

You sigh and rub your temples

“Feferi, don’t beat around the cloistered flora, what’s going on?” She frowns and her brow knit together,

“Don’t tell anyone just yet, Sollux is the only one who knows and we need the element of surprise…” Oh you do not like that, not at all.

“She’s coming home” You freeze, she doesn’t need to specify, you know who the fuck she means. The empress is on her way.

_FUCK_

You are not even _REMOTELY_ near ready to take her on!

“How- why?” You stutter and she stands perfectly still.

“We have a burrow beast in our operations”

_FUCK_

YOUR NAME is THE ALCHEMIST but your friends (and… unfortunate allies) call you ERIDAN and right now? Right now you’re about to do a swan dive off the fucking handle.

Your fitting with Kan was interrupted by Karkat calling an emergency meeting, only the 11 commanders, no one else allowed even remotely close to the room. He’s only done this a few times, some bulcrap about ‘transparency’ and ‘trust’ both of which you _told_ him were death sentences. But he only half listens to you so of course he didn’t take your advice.

Karkat ushers you all in to his command block and locks _several_ different knobs on the door.

“Sollux, activate the stealth shield around us, not a fucking peep gets through these walls, do you hear me?” Sollux scoffs and pulls out a palmhusk to do as asked.

“There, now what the fuck is so important that you needed to drag all of our asses together?” His face looks dark and scared, more so than you’ve seen in a good long time, you’d be perfectly fine never seeing it again. When Karkat shows true fear, not just over dramatic rants, it’s something to pay attention to. You hate it, and clearly, so does everyone else.

“The Condesce is coming home” The block immediately erupts in noise, everyone starts talking at once, and then Karkat stomps his heel down hard, the noise catches the panicked group’s attention. The red cancer sign above his head rings bold above his forehead. Another thing Karkat doesn’t do often; dare to use his powers, especially not on his friends.

“Everybody _shut the fuck up_ unless you have something productive to add to this shitstorm”

“Purrhaps the first question is why?” Nepeta is the first to speak after the sign fades from his head.

“Already know that one, I’m afraid. We have a burrow beast” growls of anger and unease travel across the group. You can’t help but feel blind sighted.

“That’s- _no_ , me an Vris have vetted everyone on of significant rank-“ Sollux interrupts you.

“And I literally have the communications of the entire rebellion under constant monitoring- you can’t even get a piece of tech in here without me having access to it” Karkat throws his hands up.

“Tell me something I _don’t_ know! It still happened, and now we’re preparing for a full scale attack!” You catch Vriska’s eyes, you know she’s thinking the same thing you are.

“Lowbloods! Who’s been out of the base recently, aside from Karkat?” She demands. They all look at each other nervously.

“Well I don’t leave the communication hub most nights so count me out” Yeah duh, his skinny ass probably hasn’t left the base in a fucking sweep

“I’ve been out-“

“Not you Megido, we all know you and Terezi have a tolerance to mind control, no one’s rooting in your pan” Aradia huffs and adds something about being honest and you look around at the rest of them. You honestly don’t think it could be anyone above Jade, but Kanaya never leaves either, Karkat’s protected by Vriska when he leaves, Nepeta and Tavros?

“Nepeta was out recently but I accompanied her, she did not show any strange behaviors while we were hunting.” Vriska waves him off.

“It’s doubtful that she could keep focus while hunting if someone was in her pan, that leaves you fairy boy-“ Tavros shoots her a death glare, good for him, he’s only recently learned to fight back against her and you can’t help but be glad another guy has gotten out of her web.

“Vriska, you _know_ I haven’t had a break or a mission in perigees. There’s too much work to do with the new recruits”

“That’s fair, Tavros is doing most of their training, I doubt he’s had any time to-“ The conversations devolves from there, you try to butt in every now and again but it’s pretty obvious that you aren’t making any head way. You sit in one of the chairs around the block and start trying to think, it’s a little hard with all the chatter, Kanaya comes to sit next to you.

“Need to bounce a couple ideas off of someone?” You nod, Kan’s always been a great sound board when you need one.

“If it’s none of the lowbloods, and very unlikely to be a high or mid blood, chances are it’s not an ability akin to Vriska’s…” She puts a hand on her chin and furrows her brow.

“Good point, while it’s not impossible that someone used psychic abilities on you or Equius, it is highly unlikely that another psychic could get this close to the base without Vriska or Aradia sensing them”

“Not only that but someone that powerful, we’d have heard of them before, it’s not like Vriska’s powers are a little-known secret. Half of Beforus has heard of her.” You sit pensive for a bit.

“I mean, it also can’t be a typical spying method. It’s got to be a highblood ability at work”

“So it’s chucklevoodoo!” you look at her, stunned for a moment.

“Kan, we’re idiots, it is _definitely_ chucklevoodoo!” You clap your hands for a bit to get everyone’s attention. It takes more than a second for everyone to quiet down enough for you to speak.

“It’s chucklevoodoo. There’s a fuckin clown using their shit on us” Karkat slaps his head.

“Fucking- _of course_! Now which one of us was it used on?” Everyone looks at each other, unsure of who to shove under the multi troll buggy.

“As much as I’m going to regret saying this, It’s Terezi.” All eyes are on Vriska and Terezi, in particular, looks like she’s about to fist fight her moirail.

“Vriska _what_? How would I have EVER-“

“LOOK Terezi, you know I’m not just gonna say that for no reason- can I fucking explain?” Terezi crosses her arms and stares expectantly, no one else objects.

“Firstly, Terezi has a resistance to _my_ abilities, Chucklevoodoo is different enough to be an entirely new beast. I never have needed to protect her when we’re out and about because there usually isn’t a risk of fucking clowns being there for fuck her up. And… I saw her sneak out once”

The room becomes consumed with noise again as everyone shouts every obscenity that they know at her, Terezi and Karkat especially.

“OK FUCK! I have proof! I trust her to handle her own shit most the time so I didn’t do anything about it, she seemed fine when I talked to her but I bet you don’t remember shit now, do you?” Terezi shoots a look of venom over her glasses.

“ _NO_ I DON’T remember _betraying my friends_ ”

“Yeah, I figured. Sollux caught you on security, I took the recording and erased it from the mainframe. Erased his memory to-“

“ _VRISKA SERKET. WHAT. AND I DO MEAN *WHAT* THE FUCK?”_ For once, you think Karkat’s dramatic reaction was deserved.

“Vris- We fucking _talked_ about this! No secrets, not even for quads, YOU made that rule!”

“Bulshit” Terezi grips her cane so tight you think the handle might crack.

“BUL-FUCKING-SHIT” Terezi screams. It isn’t exactly uncommon for her to seem unhinged, but it’s like a switch was flipped, she looks maddened, like all the normal crazy had been replaced with pure, seething hatred.

“You think I’d just DO that? That I wouldn’t remember? Of ALL people Vriska! You’d think my fucking MOIRAIL would have a little more faith!” She cuts off suddenly and storms off, slamming the door behind her. Vriska goes to follow her but Karkat catches her arm.

“I get you wanted to protect her, but you’ve fucked us all, Serket. You’re on lock down until I figure out what to do with you. Eridan, I want her watched 24/7. I- someone needs to get her so we can see if she really was messed with. Nep?”

You get up to take Vriska back to her block nepeta and Equius go after Terezi, and to your surprise, Kanaya follows you out.

“I thought you’d like some company, and someone with Vriska Tantrum experience” You snort.

“Yeah, she’ll throw me into a wall if I’m alone- OOF” She pushes into your side.

“I’m on hive arrest, not deaf, fishy boy. And that was literally _one_ time. Let it go”

“Hm, no, I think not, you threw me into a wall, I get to bitch as long as I like”

Once you return Vriska to her block, you change the pin on the outside so she can’t escape. Well, until she figures out how to pick it. You give her about one night before she learns how to do so, which leaves you with enough time to find some appropriately beefy guards for her door.

“Kan, you wanna tag along to the barracks? I need help pickn’ out the least subservient blues to watch ‘er” She nods

“Going to give them the ‘Embarrass Equius’ test?” You smile, best way to suss out which highbloods can be pushed around too easy.

“Yeah, sounds like a plan”

ERIDAN==è BE NEPETA

YOUR NAME is NEPETA LEIJON

And you have a teal to comfort. Even if that feels a little too close to pale. But oh well, everyone in your group tends to bleed into each other’s quadrants. When you get outside her black, you place a hand on Equius chest to stop him from getting the door.

“Equius, stay out here purr-lease” He frowns, oh boy, here we go.

“Nepeta, while I understand you and Terezi are relatively close, I think that her rather distressed nature is not safe for you to face alone.” You roll your eyes.

“Terezi isn’t going to hurt me, you big doof! She’s upset and she has goo reason to be! I’m just gonna calm her down real fast. You can stay out here and listen to make sure I’m ok” He grumbles but moves from the door way and you knock quietly.

“It’s not locked” You walk carefully in and shut the door behind you. Terezi is sitting cross-legged on the floor, it looks like she started trying to destroy her block, papers, clothes and scalemates litter the floor, more than usual.

“I though maybe you needed a fur-riend right now?” She doesn’t react as you sit next to her.

‘I’m assuming your moirail is outside?’ You nod, then respond verbally. It’s so easy to forget that she can’t see, but without her glasses, her vibrant red eyes bore into the wall like an angry animal.

“I can’t _believe_ she’d fucking insinuate that I…I”

She seems to deflate, the tears finally starting to fall.

“I know it was me. That’s the most logical conclusion. And- and I’ve been sleeping like _crap_. I go to sleep earlier and learlier and I still wake up like I haven’t slept all day- I guess I haven’t been.” You put your hand on yours, not wanting to step on Vriska’s toes, but well, she needs a little pity right now.

“Wanna know something? Something even Equius doesn’t know?” She looks over at you, curiosity clear on her face.

“You know I was kidnapped, me and Sollux. When we were wrigglers?” She nods and you take a deep breath.

“it’s be-claws,- _because_ – a purpleblood got to me. I don’t know where they even came from. Just. All the sudden they were there, and Sollux was trying to get me to run and I couldn’t-“ You shiver with the memory. Honestly, you haven’t told anyone about this, Sollux has his suspicions, but you don’t answer, and he’s good enough to not press it.

“…What was it like?” You pause, searching for an accurate description.

“At fur-st, it was like I was scared still, like I was just a little grub and I was surrounded by cholerbears or something. Then-“

“There was nothing…” She finishes for you. You smile sadly at her and she just stares forward again.

“I think I really fucked us over” You shake your head.

“I think your moirail fucked us over. You didn’t do anything wrong” You don’t say anything after that, you just tell her to try and rest now that you know to watch her, and leave.

“Did it go well?” Equius askes, as if he weren’t listening in.

“I think so..”


	11. Chapter 11

NEPETA==> BE JADE

YOUR NAME is JADE ENGLISH formerly JADE CROCKER, and to day, you are visiting your dad.

He’s been sick for years, in and out of the hospital, goddamn smoking addiction. You remember when you were little, the smell of smoke on his shirt felt comforting back then, now, the memory just feels like a bad omen.

You push into the hospital room and walk gingerly over to his bed, it’s been a long, long time since you last saw him.

“Daddy? Are you awake?” The man opens his eyes blearily, and takes you in, struggling to a sitting position as soon as he realizes who it is.

“Jade? Jade! Where have you _been_? I- I’ll call John he should know-“ You stop him and smile sadly.

“Please don’t… He doesn’t remember” He puts his phone down slowly and sighs.

“You’ve talked with him?” You nod.

“A lot, I hoped he’d remember me if I was persistent enough, but well, we’ve been talking since I was 12 and it’s… It’s not going to happen” He frowns but pats your hand soothingly.

“Well, then, why don’t you tell me what you’ve been up to? I’ve missed you so much Jade, after your mother left- it felt like the house was too quiet without all of us there.” You feel guilty of course, for running away, you know he knew you were alive, somehow, and you know that _she_ did too. Which is why you haven’t risked coming back until now. She still watches him, John, not as much, but you _wouldn’t_ let your father die before seeing you again. You could do that much.

“Well, I found a few great friends! Even if John doesn’t remember me as his sister, he’s still one of my best friends, Rose and Dave too. I work in constume design, sometimes, I’m working on my doctorate in nuclear physics and I live on an island out in the pacific…” You start rambling, about your life and about your feelings, about well, everything, that you have wanted to tell him for so long but couldn’t. When your done, you can tell he wants to ask you about it.

“You want to know why I left, right?” He nods.

“I knew it was your choice, and I knew we wouldn’t find you unless you wanted to be found, but I have to ask, don’t I?” And you suppose he does have a right to know. You put him through hell, by running away and that pain isn’t something that’ll disappear easily.

“Mom wasn’t human. I don’t even think she was our mom. I- well. I knew she was bad and I don’t know why, John never felt it, but I did. And I needed to get away, even if I really wished I could have stayed.” Talking about it, about leaving home, it’s almost like a weight is slowly being lifted. So you tell him everything you know. That your mom was an alien in disguise, that you had _spoken_ with other aliens. About how scary she got when you’d catch you taking to officials from her species, how she _knew_ you were on to her and how you were afraid you’d end up a casualty, just like her first husband, the one that was _supposedly_ your birth father. He listens, as well as he can, stopping you for clarification and nodding along as you talk.

“Jade, I love you and I trust you, but.. How can you be so sure? I can’t say that I didn’t think she was up to something, but all of this? It’s…”

“Completely and totally batshit?” He chuckles.

“Yeah, I guess that’s a good description of it” You smile back at him and teleport away, you teleport back with the donuts you left in the car. He looks at you, shocked and eyes wide.

“It’s a little easier to swallow once super-powers get involved,” You shake the bag a little.

“I brought your favorites?”

JADE==è BE KARKAT

YOU are CURRENTLY HUDDLED IN A BUSH with Nepeta and Vriska. It took nearly a night and a half of ferocious arguing before you had a plan settled, first mission, capture the Juggalo messing with Terezi. You waited until she had finally managed to fall into a fitful sleep, then you, Nepeta and Vriska suck behind her out of the base, following her through the dense forest, and honestly thank whatever eldritch deity was fucking with you guys for the trees, because it’s already hotter than hell during the day, you don’t need third degree burns to add on top of it.

You’re radios are on, transmitting what you hear so back up can arrive promptly, You and Nepeta re a the smallest, making you ideal for sneaking, Vriska is Vriska, but still, the three of you might not be able to handle a highblood without one of the heavy weights, thus, even further back from you, out of eye and ear shot, are Kanaya, Equius and Eridan, the three of them are too noisy to sneak, so they don’t get spying rights.

Terezi faces away from you, walking like a- well like an actual blind person. She runs into the occasional bush, trips over stones and almost smacks into a tree twice. It’s taking every bit of patience you have not to run over to her and inspect the damage her careless walk might have caused. Terezi’s a big girl, a couple of scrapes and maybe a bruise won’t kill her. But watching might just kill Vriska, who you’ve held back more than yourself.

Eventually, the forest lets up to a large clearing, the other three come and join you at the edge of it, hiding that many people in a small area isn’t what you’d call easy, but _somehow_ you do it. Terezi follows a clearly worn in path, how many times has she already done this?

You shake the thought out of your mind as a large, lumbering form comes right up to your friend.

“any new lil sis?” OH _FUCK_

You hardly have any time to react before The clown is barreling toward you, Terezi, still in a stupor, snitched on you. You rush head in, Nepeta and Vriska right on your heels. Kanaya zooms past you, ready to chainsaw his ass, goddamnit, the plan!

“NO KILLING! WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY’RE PLANING!!”

“I’ll _try_ to only maim but if they swing at you I’m chopping their head of” Kanaya calls, sawing one of the large trolls clubs in half. Wooden clubs? Usually only wrigglers carry wooden ones, they get metal ones in adulthood. You shake yourself back to the fight, now’s not the time.

“VRISKA! RESTRAIN AND PROTECT TEREZI! ERIDAN USE TRANQ DARTS THE REST OF YOU, JUST NO KILLING!” Eridan’s darts whiz by you, but the purpleblood is surprisingly limber, dodging them fast then you could blink.

Equius freezes for a moment, _goddamnit!_ This is why you didn’t want to bring him! The clown knocks him in the head with his broken club and he drops like a rock. Enraged, Nepeta launches herself at his head, scratching three long lines town his face, he grabs her by the wrist and you hear a nauseating _snap_. You can’t – you WON’T loose anyone today, you’re moving before you even process what you’re doing.

Kanaya tries to stop you, but you don’t look back, you just place yourself firmly between them and your fallen friends, their arm comes swinging down with enough force to kill you, but you catch it in your much smaller hand, the other troll has frozen still, looking astonished and scared all at the same time, and then, as if this wasn’t crazy enough, they start crying, loud, wet crying; They fall to their knees and hold on to you for dear life, shaking your entire body with their sobs. You sit in stunned silence, Nepeta and Equius making it slowly to their feet and backing away. Another dart flies from Eridan’s gun and hits home in their back. Eventually, after what feels like hours, they slump to the ground, you lay them down with more care than they probably deserve. Eridan jogs up to you and starts looking for identification. He pulls out a necklace from the troll’s shirt.

“Oh my fucking god-“

Vriska butts her head in, obstructing your view.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Irritated with being left out, you pinch her until she lets you see.

“GAMZEE?”

Back at the base, you sit with your head in your hand and staring straight ahead at the gargantuan troll in the cell ahead of you. He’s in a spare recoopracoon, though the others thought it was silly to waste it on a captive, and some water, if he decides to wake up anytime soon.

“I see you still remain vigilant at the prisoner’s cage”

“I’d prefer we don’t call it that, makes us seem like WE’RE the assholes” Kanaya smiles sadly, sitting next to you on the bench.

“What are we going to do with him?” She askes, as if you’ve figured out a solid plan yet.

“Well we aren’t killing him-“

“Karkat, no matter the circumstances, I don’t think you could kill someone you knew as well as him” She’s right, but she interrupted so you growl at her, she slaps you playfully.

“He’s… he _has_ to be redeemable, right? I mean, we all just let Vriska and Edidan slide on in…” She thinks about it for a moment.

“I suppose it depends on whether or not he was forced to commit atrocities, or _chose_ too. Vriska and Eridan, despite their faults and particular love for strategy, aren’t killers by choice. They would much rather have their enemies alive to gloat about the fact that they lost. Killing was a consequence of having a murderous lusus and being charged with feeding a literal god. “You sigh, sitting forward a little.

“I guess, you’re right, but what if- what if he’s not our Gamzee anymore? Like her could be too fucked for us to fix.”

“Then if it comes to it, I will deal the final blow, not you and not anyone crueller. If he has to be put down, it should be by someone who knew him when he was good”

“that’s fair… don’t you have work to do?” She does, and you can tell by the smirk on her lips.

“I needed a break you needed to talk. I’ll check in on you later, please actually sleep sometime soon.” She pats your shoulder gently and whisks out of the room as quickly as she came.

“You better be somewhat sane in there, you fucking idiot” You tell him, leaning back into your chair and closing your eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if it came across clearly but jade ran away as a little kid and john literally just blocked it out of memory


End file.
